
Why 2019 is a year for big change and new directions
Change. It’s a big word, it can be terrifying but it can also lead us to some of the most transformative times of our lives. Before I get started, let me be clear, this is not one of those New Year New Me posts. Instead, I want this to be an honest life update on why my life has completely changed in the last few weeks and why I want 2019 to be all about chasing happiness.
It seems apt that I’m writing this on the four year anniversary of when I first started my solo traveling journey around the world and one of the happiest times of my life. It’s a strange feeling when you’re finding inspiration from the person you used to be, but if there’s anything I want to aspire towards right now, it’s being the real Lucy once again.
Why 2018 was such a rollercoaster
Moving abroad
I can honestly say, I have never worked as as hard as I have in the last year. Sacrificing travel for a new home and life in a new country, a new job, a new language, the list goes on. It was a year of huge changes and ones that I was really excited to throw myself into. After a few months of saving, I moved to Hamburg and started setting myself up in the new life I had been waiting for. It wasn’t easy, but I did it, I didn’t just survive, I thrived as best I could. Finding a great job, friends and even amazing blogging opportunities.
My Hamburg adventure has now come to an end, for many reasons. It’s a place that I have loved and hated in equal measure, but I will always be proud that I made a life there. There are some times when you have to take a good look around you, and if you’re not happy, it’s okay to call it a day and make a real change. It doesn’t make you a quitter, it doesn’t make you weak for not trying. It means you’re honest and true to yourself, and what’s really in your heart. And at the end of the day, the only person you have to answer to is yourself.
Health
I hadn’t realised until the last few weeks, but the last eight months have really changed me as a person. The last eight months have put my mind, and my body, under a lot of stress and that’s why in 2019, I want to focus on putting myself first for once. Spending two hours a day commuting to and from work, plus long hours, a real lack of daylight and total exhaustion really took its toll after a while. I pushed my body to its limits, and while I’m amazed at what it has withstood this year and how it has coped and still kept me as a functioning human being, I know that I have been half the person I normally am.
Friendships
2018 has been a difficult year for my friendships. While I started the year more invested in my friendships than ever, the move made life difficult. It became harder and harder to keep in touch with those at home, and making friends in Germany was much harder than I anticipated. But I did make friends, I have made some amazing friends over the last six months and I am so grateful to them for being a part of my Hamburg life.
2019 – A time for change
As 2018 has come to an end, so have a lot of things in my life and it’s become clear that 2019 is a year for change. A change in location, a change in lifestyle, in the people I invest in and where I invest my time. After spending so long putting others first and suffering as a result, I’m long overdue for a shift in focus. So for a start, I’m going off-grid for a while, I’ll still be working on the blog and I’ll still be online, but I’m taking more time for myself. After such big life changes, it’s important to take time to reflect and heal and there’s no shame in taking time out to get your head together. I’m setting goals for the year ahead and they involve a lot more focus on spending time with the people who mean the most to me and actually allowing them to look after me for once. Let’s hope 2019 brings happiness.
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Kirstin
Thinking of you Lucy. As long as you’re safe and making steps to happiness, thats all that honestly matters.
May your 2019 be full of adventures and happiness ♥️
Kirstin
LucyRuthnum
Thanks Kirstin, much appreciated. Wish you all the best for 2019 xx
Camilla
I’m sorry to hear that you’re leaving (or have left?) Hamburg but all the best to you and to your next adventure. I hate to sound self-serving but I did hope we could meet. I read through your past posts and really really wish I could grab coffee with you to get to know you personally. Anyway, I’ll be silently cheering on you from this part of the world and will definitely be keeping up with your journey. 🙂 Hope we could meet someday!
LucyRuthnum
Thanks Camilla, I have already left Hamburg. Oh I’m so sad for the friendships I have left behind and the potential friendships I could have had, it’s such a shame but I had to make a decision for my future. I’m so sad we won’t get to meet this time, but who knows, maybe fate will bring us together another time. Either way, I wish you all the best for the future and thanks so much for your support!
Yariella Coello
I wish you the the very best as you go through all this change, Lucy. It’s an exciting (if sometimes difficult) time! 2017 was my year of change, and 1.5 years on, I’m so thankful for it all, highs and lows. Take it slow and enjoy the adventures!
LucyRuthnum
Thank you Yariella, I’m glad to hear you made it out the other side and are happy, it gives me hope! Thanks for your support, it means the world Wishing you luck and light for 2019.
The Barefoot Backpacker
I love this post, it’s honest and deeply reflective. 🙂
I get the impression that whatever happens in 2019, you’re going to be open to it. Change is always hard, but you seem to have the right mindset to deal with it. I am sure everything will turn out right for you in the end.
And the thing with the Hamburg adventure is -> you tried. You would always have had regrets if you hadn’t, the ‘ooh i don’t know if it’s the right thing’; you never know until you try. So it didn’t work out in the end; at least now you know that! And you had good memories and times there, so it wasn’t a failure.
I have issues with failure. Everything I do I’m worried about failing. Don’t be like me. 😀
LucyRuthnum
Thank you so much, it means a lot that you say that. It was definitely hard to write, but I felt it was important to be honest with everyone, and with myself about what has happened.
You’re right, change is the hardest thing in the world sometimes but it’s better than staying put and being unhappy. Let’s hope you’re right and I’ll be open to it all, honestly I think everything that has happened has shaken me up a lot so I just hope I can get back to myself eventually.
You’re right, and I’m so glad I did. I’m glad I proved to myself that I could do it and that I could smash it, the reasons for me leaving were beyond my control so there really isn’t anything I could have done differently. And I’ll forever be glad that I did put myself out there and try.
I hope that one day you manage to overcome your fears of failure, I know how crippling this feeling can be, its plagued me for the last eight months for very different reasons but I refuse to let myself feel like that any more. I hope that you can do the same, after all, failure means at least we tried.
Thanks for commenting.
joeingram008gmailcom
Thanks you Lucy, for this beautiful blog. It is really nice you have written so passionately about your year. I wish you luck for 2019.
LucyRuthnum
Hi Joe, thanks so much for your comment, I’m so glad you like my blog and I wish you luck and light for 2019.
Melis Living
Sorry that 2018 was such a challenging year but sounds like you’ve taken so much from it and grown as a person. Wishing you all the best for 2019 and glad I found your blog today! Melis x
LucyRuthnum
Hi Melis, thanks so much for commenting and for your kind words. I feel like 2018 was definitely a year that has shaped the rest of my life, for many reasons. It may have been painful, but great change usually is and let’s hope it leads to great things in 2019. Wishing you luck and light for 2019 xx
robbarcruises
3rd time
Ok
First I have followed your adventure and living across the world it seems for four years + and admired your courage and growth as a beautiful person
Only we can decide for ourselves what works and having a partner is a major step as it means we have to adjust which at times works and sometimes not
Remaining friends is a bonus as life surprises down the road
Kind of like a spider web , never know where the wind goes
Lucy take your time spread your wings and we will support you regardless
Rob ❤️
LucyRuthnum
Hi Rob, haha don’t worry about it. Life definitely took an unexpected twist.
Thanks so much for your lovely comment, it’s put a smile on my face 🙂
You’re so right, relationships don’t always work for many reasons, but it’s important to put yourself out there and try.
Let’s hope there are better ones out there waiting for me!
Thanks for your support x
robbarcruises
❤️
Elisha | Gone blogging
I hope you have a healthy and happy 2019, Lucy. I really admire you for pushing yourself to move to a new city and create so many opporutubities while there. Take care of yourself and I’m sure it won’t be long til you’re doing more amazing things!
Elisha x
LucyRuthnum
Thank you Elisha, such a lovely thing to say. I’m glad you’re reminding me of the good side of the last year, it may have been bloody hard, but I really did take a massive step even if it didn’t work out. Thanks, I’m excited for the next step! Wishing you luck and light for 2019 xx
Sangeeta Bisht
Hii, well all i can say that 2019 is the era of change for you as well as others also, its seems like 2018 was a tough year for you.all i can say good luck for 2019 and for your adventure tooo.
LucyRuthnum
I couldn’t agree more. I’m so sad that 2018 hit so many people so hard, but perhaps that was what was needed to inspire change and to move into the next stage of our lives! Thank you, wishing you luck and light for 2019
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