Finding the perfect travel companion is no easy task, as someone who has spent much of her travelling life going it solo, I can tell you it isn't easy to change your ways and pair up with someone. No doubt, solo travel has a huge impact on the individual and their experience, but there's something special about sharing every step of your adventures with someone special. Whether that someone is a friend, family or even a partner, there is something magical about being able to reminisce over that time you got lost in Sri Lanka or the car broke down in Australia. Those normally stressful moments become a hilarious story, they gain an almost romantic aspect when remembered together. But, no matter how rose-tinted those spectacles are, there is no denying that finding the perfect travel companion is tricky, it takes a lot of struggles along the way before you finally pin down the one.
But what makes the perfect travel companion? Well after three years of travelling solo, as part of a group, with a close friend and even a boyfriend, I've really learnt the type of person I can be around. Because travelling isn't always just an easy breezy holiday, sometimes it can be hard, exhausting, confusing and downright dramatic. Finding the perfect travel companion means finding someone who can handle you at your worst, not just at your best, someone who can help you plan and solve problems, someone who can laugh when things don't turn out right and someone who can make even the worst situations seem manageable. These souls are hard to find and when you manage to pin one down, you should do all you can to keep hold of them.
Start by thinking about your travel style - are you a backpacker or a luxury lover? Do you prefer hotels or hostels? Are you more likely to be found buying easy-to-prepare food in a supermarket or making reservations for a Michelin-starred restaurant? All of these things can really affect the sort of people you will consider travelling with - for instance you can't combine a 5* luxury lover with a budget backpacker - while they may learn a thing or two from each other it is more likely that one person will be miserable. Even combining a flashpacker with a backpacker on a serious budget may be tricky - so it's important to discuss budget with the person you are travelling with and to really understand each other's chosen travelling lifestyle. If your styles are different, are you willing to compromise?
I love learning about culture and heritage when I visit new places, my boyfriend loves to surf. The one thing we really have in common is that we love to escape into nature through hiking and camping, and we love to eat out. It's more than okay for you to have different interests to the people you travel with, but it also really helps if you have some interests in common. By having some middle ground, it makes it easier to plan activities and travelling routes, but you can also still make time to indulge your individual pastimes. You don't have to spend every waking second together, but you do need to be willing to let each other enjoy your own passions and interests.
The way you pack can be very telling of the type of trip you are hoping to have. I always pack for long-term trips and usually into a backpack rather than a suitcase, I go for comfort with a hint of style and usually pack for summer. I would be a pretty bad combination if put together with someone who always packed for colder countries and preferred to pack his suits neatly into a case. It's important to be clear with each other before you leave what kind of trip you are both hoping for - you don't want to arrive with one suitcase full of cocktail dresses and a backpack full of hiking gear!
You may choose a different travel companion depending on where you choose to go, for a shorter weekend away you may team up with a family member or a friend for some fun in a new city. But when planning a longer holiday you may choose to go with older friends who you have known for years. When it comes to a much longer trip, say backpacking around the world, it is vital that you choose to go with someone you know, trust and can rely on. Travelling with someone is pretty full on and you need to know that you can cope being around that person 24/7 if need be.
It's taken me three years of solo travel, but I've finally found someone who I can travel with long-term, we've already traveled half of Australia while living in a car together, we've backpacked across Sri Lanka and Thailand and now have plans to take on Europe. I never imagined that I might find someone I could travel with full-time but now I can't imagine travelling life without him by my side. Travelling alongside someone you love is such a different experience to travelling with friends or family, but each can be just incredible if you have the right people and the right destination. For those who might be searching for an elite travel companion, Bank Models offer an exclusive and international model introduction service aimed at successful professionals who enjoy the best things in life. This service could help line you up with your perfect VIP travel companion for your next trip.
Have you found the perfect travel companion? Where did you meet? What was your last trip together?
I'm a bit of a romantic at heart, just like most girls I love being swept off my feet and can find something beautiful in the smallest gestures. When you're travelling, it's easy to be caught up in the romance of your very existence, the transient nature of your life brings romance to the simplest moments. With tropical temperatures, sandy beaches and stunning sunsets at every turn, Asia is the perfect setting for a travelling romance, while Australia provides the incredible landscape to get lost with your newfound love.
Europe is just perfect for those warm summer evenings drinking wine together or exploring a city of culture, there's romance of years gone by haunting the streets you walk. When you travel it's easy to fall for people and to fall hard and fast, you get swept away by the romance, the freedom and the excitement of it all. Add in the ticking time limit of that plane ticket home and things can get pretty intense. The important thing for travelling girls to remember when things come to an end, is not to feel broken-hearted over the love you lost but to enjoy the memories of what you had. Every single perfect second of your time together whether it was just one night, a few weeks or months together. Those precious memories of your fleeting romance will stay with you in years to come and will shape your travelling stories.
When travelling I love meeting couples who met on the road, couples who have managed to make things work beyond travelling. I love seeing people in the grips of romance who cannot imagine a life without the person they just met two nights ago. It's beautiful and pure, it's love in it's own right and even if it doesn't last, it doesn't mean you didn't feel it at the time. I was lucky enough to meet an amazing couple who have become my very good friends, they met while volunteering together in South America and now several years later they have traveled the world together. In Thailand, I met an Australian girl who was crazy in love with an English guy and two years later they are still travelling the world together. It's amazing when you hear these stories and so lovely to know that travel doesn't have to stand in the way of finding love. But for every success story, there are a hundred stories of heartache and of lost loves – so for all of these, here is my list of the 10 romantic moments you need to experience when you are travelling:
Don't get caught up in why it didn't work, just make beautiful memories with that person and enjoy every moment of your time together. In twenty or thirty years would you rather remember bitter heartbreak from the guy you met on that beautiful Thai beach, or would you prefer to remember that night you held hands and watched the perfect sunset together?
Tell me about your most romantic travelling moments – what is your favourite memory? Which country holds the most romance for you?
As Valentine’s Day approaches, I can’t help but remember just two years ago when I was crazy in love and whisked off my feet with all the hearts and roses that come with the holiday. A romantic dinner for two and a year later, who knew that I would spend my next Valentine’s Day at a Half Moon Party in Thailand more single than I had been in a decade, that two years on I would be preparing to spend the day at a festival with good friends. It’s amazing how much your life can change with your relationship status and it’s only been since I left my nine year relationship to come traveling that I have really noticed how much others really let their relationships rule their lives and their decisions. Even now, when I tell people I left behind such a long-term relationship to travel the world solo, they look at me incredulously and think I’m slightly crazy - but then I ask, wouldn’t it be crazier to put your dreams on hold and end up resenting the person you love the most? Begrudgingly they nod in agreement, but then you seem them do it again, and again, and again. Sacrificing their studies, their hobbies, their families and homes, all for a love that changes their world but not always for the better.
Two years ago, for Valentine’s, I wrote a blog post entitled “Relationships | What’s it really like to have a boyfriend at university?” which has still remained one of my most popular posts. It seems that the title of this post was something that several young women found themselves typing into Google as they tried to plan a future with their loves, tried to make a decision about their own education and future, and tried to keep the balance between what their head and heart were screaming. Over the last two years, this post has probably received the most comments and messages above all of my others, and it seems to be a bit of a hot topic for young ladies who are about to advance to this stage of their lives. Sixth Form and College is around the time when many young couples start pairing off and often you’ll find your first love, I certainly did. It’s a great time, when you’re learning what it’s like to first love another person, to be part of a real adult relationship and to be regarded as a “real” couple instead of foolish young teenagers. It’s easy for this love to take over your life a bit and we all went through that phase where we didn’t want to leave each others’ side, but then comes the pressures of university - whether you decide to go or not, often this can be the decider for whether many couples will survive. Often one half of the couple will have a longing to continue their studies as I did, while the other half will have a plan to either study elsewhere, or not at all. So what do you do when this happens?
So many girls have written to me explaining how worried they are that their relationship will not withstand the pressures of university and separation. I’ve had some asking whether I think they will make it when their other half already spends his time eying up other girls or flirting, I’ve had others ask whether the distance will be a problem, and I’ve had far too many asking whether I think they should change their lifelong university preference to attend the same school as their boyfriend. Something I want to make clear is that I have always been a very independent person, so has my ex-boyfriend and thats part of the reason we loved each other so much - we both trusted each other to give as much space as needed throughout the nine years and I think that’s why we were so happy throughout. When it came to me choosing my university and course, he had no input into my choice. I told him all about the universities I visited and about what my options were, but that was the extent of his influence. I made my choice of university based wholly on the course content, the campus, the people and the feeling of the place - from the moment I stepped on to the campus at University of Hertfordshire, I knew this was the place I had to spend the next three years of my life. Because that’s what it was - my life. Not his, although he was a huge part of my life after three years. But I knew that regardless of where I was, what I studied or how far apart we were, if we truly loved each other we would make it work. And if it didn’t work, I certainly didn’t want to be anywhere but my first choice of university.
The same happened when I came traveling - I made the decision separately that this was what I wanted to do, just like my other half decided he wanted to go to university to study. Independently we knew what was right for each of us, and mutually when we discussed it, we came to a decision that we both had to go our separate ways in order to be happy. Whether it was a permanent or temporary decision is another matter, but we both knew we had to do this otherwise we would end up resenting each other. It was easily the hardest decision of my life, but now, over a year after I left, I can tell you it was the best decision I ever made. Much like my choice of university, it has led me to one of the happiest times of my life, and yes, it does mean I’ve had to say goodbye to an incredible relationship but it also means I’ve chosen to invest in myself. Because being single doesn’t mean being lonely - if anything, since being single I’ve never been surrounded by such love, light and laughter, I’ve actually made some of the best friends and family of my life. So many seem to stay in a relationship because they are scared of the alternative, but what are you really afraid of - not having anyone’s shadow to stand in? I look around and see so many young women in relationships that make them feel insecure, afraid or unhappy, and I wonder why they stay. I’m entirely independent and alone at this point in my life and I’ve never felt stronger, braver or happier. Being single has made me fearless, given me incredible confidence and made me really value myself as an individual.
I’m not saying that every woman out there should go dump her boyfriend this Valentine’s Day (that would be a bit mean wouldn’t it?!), I’m just saying that it is important to celebrate being independent and single as well as celebrating retaining your individual identity when you’re in a relationship. Don’t be afraid to make independent decisions within a relationship, especially when it will have a huge impact on your own life. It’s easy to get swept up in coupledom, to let your loins take over your thought processes but don’t forget that when it comes to things like education and travel - these are things that change the way you view the life you live. If you already fear that the change will challenge your relationship beyond repair, then perhaps that relationship was not as strong as you first thought. But that’s okay, some people are destined to dip in and out of our lives gently influencing us along the way, while others exist to shake our worlds to the very core, changing and rebuilding them in ways we never expected. It’s easy to get them mixed up and sometimes a big change like university or travel is needed to show one from the other. But whichever type of relationship you have, it’s not as important as the one you have with yourself - that is the one you should be investing the real time, effort and love into, because its the only one you can guarantee will last for life.
How do you remain independent within your relationship? Can you think of a time when you have put yourself above the relationship? What have you sacrificed for love - and was it worth it?
When I was born, I was a little unexpected. For a start, I was a "mistake". My parents were expecting a boy when suddenly out popped this little girl that looked a bit like Mowgli from The Jungle Book and couldn't sit still. From the start I was a very independent child, unlike my sister who had to be sat on my mother's hip at all times, I was running around and causing havoc from the very beginning. I was going to be called Jack until this creature who was very obviously a "Lucy" arrived. It makes me wonder, if I had been born a boy what would have been different - would I still have become a journalist and quit my job to travel the world? Would I still have an unhealthy love for cheese and wine? Or would I be a completely different person? I feel like my entrance into the world helped set the tone for the rest of my life, which so far has taken some pretty unexpected turns. I remember when I first announced to friends that I was coming travelling, some were shocked I was giving everything up and going it alone. Others, who knew me well, were unsurprised. More than one of them actually said they kind of expected something like this from me, that I'd always been a bit of a free spirit even when I was working full time and in a long-term relationship. I guess not much has changed about me since then, I just cast off all the shackles that were keeping me tied to one place so that I could experience total freedom for a while.
Growing up, I was always more of a boy's-girl than a girl's-girl, I always had my gang of close girlfriends but would always find myself spending more time with the guys. Back then I struggled with the bitching and "girl talk" that came with one particular gang and it kind of put me off female friendships a bit. I've never had any interest in people who want to talk about others negatively - I love the kind of people who want to build each other up and celebrate each other. But then some amazing women came crashing into my life that changed all that - I'm a very lucky girl to have a pretty special group of female friends both at home and on the road and they have completely changed my opinion. My friends at home are these amazing, creative, independent and exciting women who have an opinion on everything and will stand by you until the end. They're the kind of women who will never make you feel bad about yourself, won't make you judge other people and won't make you feel insecure. Instead they bring light into your life, and colour, lots of it. A night with them is well spent whether you're debating over a glass of wine, setting the world to rights over dinner, or dancing like fools in the club. They're wild women, they're passionate and have dreams. They don't sit around waiting for a guy - they go out and work hard to earn their own money and they make their own dreams come true. They're fearless and bold, they're brave and they inspire me.
While nothing will ever replace those incredible creatures that keep cheering for me and supporting me even when I'm the other side of the world, I've met some pretty amazing souls since travelling as well. The kind of women who make you feel like you can take on the world and do anything you set your mind to, the ones who will be your cheerleaders, who will be your shoulder to cry on, your tough love when you need it and the kind of women you will be friends with for life. I feel like when you meet people travelling it is so different to making new friends at home, it's like you see their soul laid bare from the very beginning and people aren't afraid to dive in the deep end. I've lost count of the amount of times I've met these beautiful characters who have laid their cards on the table from the first day and by the end of it we've been declaring our love for each other. People aren't afraid to be exposed, if anything they're more willing to be themselves no matter what. I love that, I love when people are unapologetically themselves. It's refreshing to meet people who are fearless in expressing their ideas and opinions, who don't try to fit in with any crowd or way of thinking. They're free spirits and wild women and they're everywhere. I saw a quote the other day and it really summed up what I'm trying to say in this post:
There is no competition between wild women. Their spirits are too free to be caught in a tiny space of envy. Instead they dance together and allow the good to flow abundantly amongst each other.
I love this. This is something to be celebrated. Not just among women, but I wanted to use this excuse to focus on the incredible women I have met in my life. We should always make it our business to be as wild and free as the world will allow - to follow our hearts and to dream big. And, even more importantly, we shouldn't allow envy or jealousy to make us judge the achievements of others. At the end of the day, life is tricky sometimes and we all need a bit of help and support along the way, we should do our best to give this to all the women in our lives because we never know when we'll need it returned to us. To all those who live their lives meekly and afraid of what others will say - stop. Live loudly and proudly, be excited and passionate and chase what you want out of life. Be one of those women that inspires you, be one of those women that inspires others. Whether your free spirit travels the world, creates something amazing or loves with great abandon - go full throttle on life and you'll never look back with regret. I've spent the last three months living in the outback and it's made me more grateful than ever before for my tribe: the girls here in town who have got me through, the girls across Australia who have kept cheering me on, and the gang at home who have been a ear when I needed to vent. Every single one of you have kept me inspired, supported and excited about life even after the toughest day at work. Thanks to you, I made it through. So I'll end on this note, make it your business today to think about the women in your life, the ones who are wild and free and inspire you at every step. Let them know what a big part they play in your life.
Have you got an amazing gang of girlfriends? How have your girls inspired you?
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Christmas and New Year are definitely some of those times when people really start to think about their relationship status - a bit like the post-Christmas bloat, it's something that hangs over every festive party and moment under the mistletoe. It can suck a bit to be single at Christmas, to not have someone special to keep you warm and to get you that extra special present. But it can also be great to be single at Christmas - you don't have to feel guilty when you sit there and eat an entire cheeseboard in one sitting then spend the night farting in bed, and no awkward decision about whose family you'll spend the day with. When it comes to New Year, this was my first as a single girl for nine years - which seems crazy to me. Basically as long as I've been old enough to go out drinking I've been in a relationship, more than a third of my life. And it was a good relationship, a great one in fact, but 2015 was all about the start of something new, about taking control of my life and doing something for me. I broke off my relationship and left to travel the world solo, a year later I should be heading home but have decided I'm not ready for my adventures to finish yet. Last December 31st I was surrounded by good friends and spent the night celebrating with my other half. But this year, it felt right to celebrate independently after the year I've had. I've conquered all sorts and I've done it all by myself, so I was more than happy to be a single girl as I took my first steps into 2016.
This time of year it's easy to get caught up in the romance of the season - all those engagement rings popping up on my newsfeed, all those cute couple photos in matching Christmas jumpers, and all those New Year kissing photos. We're blasted in the face with the expectation and the pressure to be in a happy relationship or left to feel like failures, but I have to ask, isn't it more important at this time of year to be looking inwardly and thinking more about the relationship we have with ourselves? New Year is always a great time to look back over the year as it comes to a close - at what we've achieved and suffered, learnt and lost over the last 12 months. We're all planning and making goals for the year ahead, but so many are setting goals, more like ideals for where they see themselves in 12 months. They're thinking about things like relationships statuses, job goals, having their own homes. All of these are great in their own way, but why not take the time to think about how mentally healthy and happy you are. Two Christmases ago I took a two week break from work and from life - I finally had headspace to think and after the two weeks was up I realised I didn't want to go back to that life. That was when I realised that how I was working and living was not making me healthy or happy - it was time to plan an escape and my next moves. That was when I began saving, when I bought a plane ticket. A year later, I hopped on that plane and never looked back.
It's not the answer for everyone and I'm not saying this to tell you to go do the same. Travel might not be your way of healing but starting 2016 on your own could provide you with a good opportunity to really look closely at your life. Are you happy? Are you on your way to achieving what you want out of life? If not, why not? This is your chance to claim 2016 as your year to work on you - do what I did, step back and reassess. Our goals change as we grow as people and sometimes the ones you set a while ago will no longer fit the person you have become - if you no longer want something why work towards it? Evolve your goals and you will find happiness in working towards what you truly want. If a job no longer makes you happy, look elsewhere and find one that does. Feel like work is taking over your life? Take a step back and explore your passions in your free time. Unsure whether a relationship is still giving you what you need - make a change, end it or go in search of something new. It doesn't matter how trapped you feel, even if it feels like there is no way out, there always is. But you have to be willing to make the first move - once you've taken that first step it turns into the easiest and most natural thing in the world, but first you have to take a leap of faith.
It can be a huge change that all your family and friends talk about, or it can be something tiny that just makes a world of difference to you. Either way, having the courage to examine your life and really think about where you want it to go can be simultaneously the scariest and most valuable thing you do this January. Why? Because it will help give you focus and goals for the year ahead - to find the happiness you've been searching for. 2015 was my happiest and freest year yet - it was so amazing that I skipped my flight home and chose to stay and carry on for as long as possible. I'm looking forward to seeing what 2016 brings - I'm just hoping for more happiness, the love of many new friends I have yet to meet and even more opportunities to follow my passions. Most importantly, I'm not sitting around and waiting for life to happen to me, I'm out there making it happen for myself.
Have you made any New Years resolutions? What are your goals for this year? Is travel in your plans for 2016 - where are you heading?
People travel for all kinds of reasons, but often one that drives them to make the huge decision to go it alone is heartbreak. The desire to be independent and free after big changes in your personal life can be the perfect motivation to go and get lost in the wilderness somewhere and never return. Something that starts out as an escape from the harsh realities of life can soon blossom into something so incredible that you'll never believe you haven't been living like this all along. I've met so many people on my journey who had been forced to take a long hard look at the way they were living their lives after a long term relationship blew up in their faces. What really amazed me about it was how healing travelling could be for these situations - the combination of excitement, experience, culture and a reignited zest for life was the perfect way to get over heartbreak. Time passes so slowly and so quickly at the same time - simultaneously you will feel like you've been away for no time at all and yet so much will have happened, changed and affected you. It's a perfect way to get over someone.
For those whose trips aren't fuelled by the desire to escape the relationships dramas of back home, we all know the potential for a holiday romance is never higher than when you're young, free, single and backpacking on an extended trip. We may flat out deny it to our friends back home but the idea of a little holiday romance is one we all fantasise about while lazing on golden sandy beaches, or while cruising over ocean waves in one of the most romantic settings in the world. When all you meet are interesting people with a story to tell, a spark in their soul and an adventure underway, it's not surprising that most people seem to meet someone pretty amazing while on the road. I have actually met several couples since travelling who say they found each other along the way after setting out solo, fell madly in love and haven't looked back since. But whether that moment lasts for a night, a few week or months, or a lifetime, each fling is as special as the last. Those romances teach us so much more than relationships at home because they push us out of our comfort zone, takes off the pressure of society's eyes and gives us a freedom to be who we really wanted to be all along.
12 signs you've fallen in love while travelling:
This post was sponsored by Durex and if you liked this post, you'll love this list of the Mediterannean's top ten nudist beaches they created. Fancy something a little cheekier? Head to this one instead.
Have you fallen in love on your travels? Had a holiday romance that turned into something more?
All photos by Madeleine Ko.
