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  >  Solo Female Travel   >  Love & Relationships   >  Relationships: What’s it like to have a boyfriend at university?
Absolutely Lucy by the sea following her experience of boyfriend at university

NOTE: I originally wrote this post on what its really like to have a boyfriend at university around 5+ years ago. Fresh from university and part-way through a 9 year relationship. As so much time has passed, and this has become one of my most read posts ever, I wanted to add more details. I hope if you find yourself in the same situation that I was, that you will make the right decision for you. Please do take this post as it was intended. As a record of my own experiences and what worked well for us at the time. Every couple is different and what worked for us might not work for you, but that is up to you to decide.


Getting into university

Heading to university soon? If you’re in a relationship and feel torn over having a boyfriend at university – this is the post for you. This is my way of sharing my own relationship experiences in the hopes it will help others. This is aimed at young couples facing difficult decisions over long-distance relationships or even breaking up. I met my boyfriend when I was 16 years old, he was a year older and the complete opposite of me. While I worked hard, studied all the time and dreamed of escaping to university. He was loud, misbehaved and the teachers hated him.

LOCKDOWN LOWDOWN

It was so satisfying to get the results I wanted, and to prove my family, friends and teachers wrong. All were concerned I wasn’t studying hard enough simply because of my boyfriend. When the truth was if anything he encouraged me to study more! Not only did I beat expectations but I got into the university I had set my heart on – University of Hertfordshire. But I had my pick of accommodation, course modules and everything I had been dreaming of. From the second I had walked on campus the year before, I knew this was the university for me. The question was, would my serious relationship survive university?

Absolutely Lucy looks through binoculars at sea

Having a boyfriend at university

By the time I left for university, I had been with my boyfriend for around 2 years. We hadn’t even considered breaking up – we were happy and he was supportive of my studies. He had already finished school at this point but had chosen to do an engineering apprenticeship which meant he would be staying in our home town. Throughout the whole three years of my having a boyfriend at university – we stayed together. He lived and worked at home, I studied a few hours away and we saw each other as much as possible. The truth is – it was hard, but I’m glad we did it. It’s now five years on – we eventually stayed together for a total of nine years and we’re still the best of friends now.

Over the years, I’ve been asked so many questions about maintaining a relationship at university. Is it possible? Am I missing out on anything? Should I be single? Can we survive a long-distance relationship? The truth is – I can’t answer any of these questions about your relationship. But what I can do is I can tell you what worked for mine. University will test your relationship, probably beyond anything before at this point in your life. You’re madly in love with your boyfriend, can’t imagine ever being with anyone else. You can’t bear the thought of breaking up, but at the same time are ready for a whole new adventure.

Absolutely Lucy by ocean

How did we make it work?

For me, it was simple. I loved my boyfriend and wanted to stay with him regardless – I didn’t see why university would get in the way of that. I wasn’t interested in meeting guys, and we had never stopped partying since we had been together so I knew I wouldn’t feel temptation on nights out. Distance plays a big part in your decision – long-distance relationships are not to be taken lightly. It’s a huge commitment to make sure both partners feel secure and loved, while maintaining your independence. My university choice (which was not influenced at all by my relationship) was just 2.5 hours away, less than 2 hours by train and one or both of us had a car throughout my time there.

We were both always very independent people who had our own groups of friends and our families to keep us busy, we always set aside time for each other. Now I won’t deny that it was hard at times – that we missed each other like crazy. But we were determined to make it work – both of us. So that meant making compromises on our schedules to make time to call each other, but also being understanding when one of us was not available. It meant dedicating certain weekends to nothing but couple time, but also encouraging time apart to build our own lives. It meant a lot of communication. Calling each other just to say hi, thoughtful texts to say how you feel, even flowers to remind the other how much you love them. Having a boyfriend at university only worked because we BOTH made the effort.

Absolutely Lucy by the ocean, Rügen Island

Key things to remember:

Becoming an independent woman

Starting university is throwing yourself into new-found independence and freedom. The excitement of making new friends, discovering new passions, keeping up with your course and lots of partying. At first your new schedule will be jam-packed with Fresher’s Week (or month!) and you may have little time for your boyfriend. Remember they might find this difficult to deal with – you’re off having a new adventure and it feels like you’ve forgotten about them.

Make the effort! You wouldn’t like it if they disappeared off for weeks of getting drunk with strangers. Text them updates or email them if your schedules don’t line up enough for a call.

Time-management is the key

Getting used to your new life and schedule is fun at first, but it can make maintaining your relationship hard work. My university course involved a lot of independent study and very little time in actual classrooms. Naturally, I loved my flexible schedule and it led to a lot of nights out with my mates, and a lot of random study nights in the library. I found that I worked much better at night and the library was much quieter. After a while I felt like I was practically nocturnal which wasn’t great for us keeping in contact. He was working 6am-2pm and I was staying up all night and sleeping all day, or drunk calling him at 2am and waking him up. It takes compromise and you have to find your own balance as a couple.

Don’t let this continue or you’ll both feel neglected. Call your boyfriend and explain your schedule – tell him you’re finding it hard and find a time that works for both of you.

Absolutely Lucy by the sea following her experience of boyfriend at university

Don’t forget the importance of alone time

One huge benefit of going to university is having your own space. Perhaps you were both living with parents at home and struggled to get time to yourselves. Suddenly, you have your own room in a block of people that won’t disturb you! Go off for dinner, or cook your own, lay in bed all day and watch movies or do whatever you want. Having a serious boyfriend at university was quite easy for me because my campus was so quite at weekends. Lots of people went home to work in London, so often we would have the whole flat to ourselves. Being just a few hours away, we took it in turns for him to come and visit, and other weekends I would go home and visit my family. Later on I had a car which made it even easier to decide to drive home at a moment’s notice.

Be honest about how often you can see each other. Maybe you can see each other every other weekend, but once a month is also great. Don’t put too much pressure on yourselves or you’re more likely to fail.

Temptation

This is the biggest question of all about having a boyfriend at university. Put simply – yes, there is a lot of temptation at university. If you like sweaty blokes who are wearing too much aftershave daring their mates to down dirty pints without being sick on themselves. Not really my type thanks. Some might feel left out of all the drunken snogging and sleeping around that comes with Freshers. But real talk – what you’re really missing out is doing the Walk of Shame while dressed as Superwoman, and a whole lotta regret.

It is possible to go to university and not sleep with everyone. It is possible to go on a night out and go home with your girls and a greasy burger. And it is possible to spend a night in your own bed. There are a lot of girls out there who get drunk and just need some affection. This was the tough bit, being drunk and wanting to call your boyfriend because you miss him. But you deal with it and move on. My best advice – if you are tempted, end the relationship before making a big mistake and hurting your partner. Honesty is always the best policy.

So, should I stay with my boyfriend at university?

Put simply – it is possible to have a happy, loving, long-distance relationship while at university. It isn’t always easy, but in the end it is more valuable than any one night stand. You will have wobbles and strops over seeing each other and missing each other. But you will also have amazing times and you will end up a lot stronger for it. My main advice is to be sure of what you want before you go. But don’t be afraid to change your mind when you actually experience university life. You have to choose what is best for you both. If you think it is worth it, it probably is.

I was two years into my relationship when I went to university and we stayed together for nine years. He’s still a huge part of my life today. It’s not an easy decision, be be assured that whatever you choose will be the right decision for you. Breaking up a relationship can sometimes lead to some of the best moments of your life.

Have you been faced with a big decision over whether to break off a relationship or stay together at university? What did you choose?

Absolutely Lucy sign off

Comments:

  • February 14, 2014

    i can agree with you 100% on this point, its bloody difficult but so rewarding at the end. while most people i know where sleeping around or going out with boys, i would be the one texting my boyfriend at 2am saying i miss him. love this post, im glad i have someone else who was in the same position as me. 🙂

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    • February 14, 2014

      It’s definitely tough at the time, but those weekends with someone you love are worth a hell of a lot more than 10 one night stands.. I knew a few girls who came to university with boyfriends and barely lasted a few weeks because they were getting with other guys. Just not nice, but I’m sure there are a lot of couples out there who have been in the same position 🙂

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  • February 17, 2014

    I went the other way… But looking back – and particularly comparing against my current situation and boyfriend – I now know my boyfriend before university wasn’t the one for me. I quite easily dropped him (of which I’ll always have a little guilt about, I wasn’t very nice at all), so I know he wasn’t enough. Does that make sense? I think everyone has a moment in life when they go a bit mad and get it out of their system – it could be at 16 right the way to middle age, but for me it was when I was ‘released’ from my small city and parents to live on my own. I sometimes cringe at myself, for instance, the superwoman story… I have a similar one. Gaaahh I sound like a trollop! But I wouldn’t change my past because I’m happy that it certainly isn’t my life now and I learnt a lot about myself going through that. So my ‘counter argument’ to your well-written post is, by all means stay in a relationship if you are genuinely in love, but if you in any way have an inkling that you want to be a bit wild, then go for it. Otherwise, you’ll wonder ‘what if?’

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    • February 17, 2014

      That is such a great point Anna, it is important to be clear whether you really love your partner or not because university is a great time to break things off on good terms (maybe not in your case) but it offers a natural end for some who perhaps were unsure or hadn’t been forced to make a decision at this point. There is absolutely nothing wrong with “getting it out of your system” – this is a great time in your life to cut loose and really have some fun while getting away with it all. You’re not a trollop – just young and having fun, which is what university is all about – discovering who you are. And you shouldn’t look back on it negatively because you’re right, it made you who you are and led you to this point in your life. I completely agree with your counter-argument, as one of my closest friends at university did. At the end of the day, you need to make the decision that is right for you and to make sure that you don’t look back with regrets – because that is the one thing that never goes away! xxx

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  • March 2, 2014

    I got married to my long distance boyfriend of 3 years just after graduating – it was a long way too! He lived in Sussex and I was in Oxford!

    I knew he was the right person for me and no-one else I met at Uni even came close.

    It was hard, all the travelling, and I know I missed out on some of the experiences my friends had, but being with him was the right thing for the rest of my life and not just for those three years.

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    • March 3, 2014

      That’s such a lovely story Denise and good for you guys for keeping with it no matter how hard it got. It’s one of those things you look back on later on and just think it really was worth every second to be together full-time later on. I’m really happy for you xx

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  • Rosie (@EatReadGlam)

    March 12, 2014

    This is a brilliant blog post. I was lucky that my boyfriend went to the same university as me but when I dropped out and started a full time job I was concerned about how it would work, but it did.

    Denise’s story is lovely and proof that if you’re right for each other and are thinking about the future you can find a way to make it work for those three or four awkward years.

    Rosie x

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    • March 12, 2014

      Thanks so much Rosie – I always think that if you really want to make it work you can survive anything! I’m glad it worked for you because you understand quite how much putting in the hard work pays off in the long-run! Denise’s story is a perfect example of why is is so important to persevere through the hard times if you think you can make it work. I also had a friend who met a guy on a night out just after a bad break up, the next day he went off to Afghanistan with the RAF for six months, she waited for him and they emailed and skyped the whole time. Now they are happily married! Just another example, outside of university, of how patience and seeing the bigger picture can really benefit in the long-run! x

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  • May 12, 2014

    Uni really tested my relationship. I had wanted to split up with my (ex) boyfriend for about two years before I moved and just didn’t have the courage, he made me feel like I NEEDED him to survive. I moved two hours away from him (on a train) and settled in. Come January I realised I liked my flat mate and how much I really didn’t want to be with this lad. I split up with him and it didn’t take long for me to truly find love with my now boyfriend. We’ve lived together since I first moved to uni and we now have a flat to move into this September just us too. It’s prefect. It does test you but for the right reasons. Uni is about learning to be an adult and not depending on others. I’m glad you worked all the way through and stayed together. I think pre-18 it can be difficult to find someone you truly 100% love so I give you that!

    Such a true post.

    Laura xx

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    • May 12, 2014

      Thanks Laura for telling us about your experience – such a good example of how uni can work well in another way in terms of relationships. I think it is the first real test any relationship faces and it can be good if it helps end relationships that happen more of convenience or ones that fizzle out as the require more effort. In your case it sounds like uni really helped you get your life on track and made you realise what was right for you which, as you say, is bring an adult 🙂 I’m really pleased for you that you met someone who was better for you! It’s so easy to feel at 18 that the guy you love then will be the one you love all your life, but I think even then my boyfriend and I had the attitude that whatever happens happens and if things don’t work, at least we tried and it doesn’t mean we love each other any less. I think being so relaxed about it all was actually what made it work 🙂 Thanks lovely xxx

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  • donoghuemc

    June 3, 2014

    Awesome post, you were right – very similar to my own advice on long distance relationships with travel. Really great points there, and I hope it inspires others to realize long distance CAN work!

    Thanks for sharing 🙂 Meg

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    • June 3, 2014

      Thanks Meg 🙂 Me too, think so many people give up too easily and regret it, with so much technology available, it is easier than ever to keep in touch and maintain the romance 🙂 x

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  • sian

    April 9, 2015

    I am in a complete pickle about this one, I’m 19 and have been with my boyfriend for a year now and we couldn’t be happier. The thing is we live in Germany and I’m going to be going to go to university in Scotland. I’m so unsure that university is even something that is really for me as the closer my departure comes the less I want to go. But family has expectations and if I don’t go they would be devastated.
    I’d rather just do an apprenticeship and stay here but what if I then miss something that could be absolutely life changing?
    He says he wants me to go, but only because he’s worried that I won’t achieve what I want if he tells me to stay. He also says that he’s sure that we will make it. I’m just praying he’s right…

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  • Yazmine

    July 9, 2015

    hey, I’m so glad I found your blog and this post, my boyfriend of two years is going to uni in September and while I’m happy for him I’m also feeling really guilty about the fact that I am getting so upset about him leaving, it might not be far distance wise (about two hours drive) but we got together when I was just getting over the worst of an anxiety battle and he became a huge part of my life very quickly, and I almost rely on him to stay level, obviously it isn’t all about that, I love him so much but all of this makes it difficult to know that he isn’t just one short bus ride or ten minute drive away.
    this post has helped ease my mind but I’m still terrified, I don’t even know why I’m commenting, I just wanted to thankyou for helping a little I suppose.
    I hope you’re enjoying your travels ♥

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  • Louisa

    July 31, 2015

    Hey, I’m so glad i found this blog- everything else on this subject is so negative! Im going off to uni in september and my boyfriend is staying at home and working. We’ve been together for almost a year and have a chilled relationship- we see each other about twice a week and never tend to argue (at least not over anything important) which is perfect for both of us and he’s my best friend. Im just worried its all going to change and we’re going to start arguing because we’re living further away and having totally different lifestyles. I know i have no interest in other guys because i got that out of my system before we started our relationship, but i worry that because our relationship is quite laid back that it won’t survive us being apart if that makes sense? We tend not to talk that much over the phone or messaging because its better when we see each other face to face -but i feel like thats going to be a problem if we’re apart? The good thing is we’re only going to be an hours drive apart- but because he works monday-saturday 8-5 we’ll on be able to see each other once every few weeks in order not to interfere with the others’ social life. I’m determined not to let my relationship get in the way of making new friends or my degree or anything but i also really don’t want going to uni to lead to us having problems and the possibility of breaking up.
    This post has given me hope though, thank you!x

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  • Alice

    August 22, 2015

    Hey, I’m glad I found this post too. For me, my boyfriend is going off to uni but luckily only between a 40min-1hr dive away (and I drive so it’ll be much easier for me)! However I’m freaking out about him going as we spend so much time together now that I’m worried he’s going to lose interest and meet someone else/people he’d rather spend time with. This is a completely new experience for me and I really don’t want it to get in the way of our relationship. Don’t get me wrong, I am so proud and excited for him to get this opportunity but I’m worried that I’m going to feel left out or get jealous (and I’m not a particularly jealous person!). I mean I feel lucky to not have him going off to the other end of the country but it’s on my mind all the time and I guess like most girls I’m overthinking it way too much! I’m also afraid I may get jealous of all the people that get to spend so much time with him and I really don’t want to be feeling down and worrying about that all the time. Since I’ll be back home working and still living with my mum due to a major family issue that interrupted my education, I have to admit that I am slightly jealous that I’m not going to uni and getting the opportunity to be partying and living away from home…if that makes sense? I don’t know if I’m worrying too much about this or not?
    I just saw that someone wrote a similar post, but I’d like to share this anyway as I feel it might help to calm my nerves.
    This really helped though so thank you so much…I didn’t realise how possible it could all be! 😀 x

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  • anna

    September 9, 2015

    hey, I’m so happy i found this blog. I need your advice. So this year my boyfriend will go to a university 4 hours from where we live. I will be a senior this year at high school. After senior year I want to go to dentistry and i can’t choose where should I attend. The first option is to go to the same city as my boyfriend, where is really hard to get in, and I’m not sure if i could do it, but i really really want to. That city was always where I wanted to go, many of my friends are there, and it’s so beautiful. Second option is to go to an other uni, where would be pretty easy for me to get in (almost 100% i think), but that is 6-7 hours away from my home, and 2-3 hours away from my boyfriend. For some stupid reasons in my country i cant attend to both, then decide.So I’m really confused now, i dont want to spend 7 years away from my boyfriend(6 years dentistry here, and this senior year), but i also really want to get in the university, I don’t want to stay at home for 1 year if I dont get in. We have been together for 1,5 years by the way. What is your advice?

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  • Megan Winzer

    September 24, 2015

    I am in the same situation, and have found so many articles about how a break up is inevitable, so this post was really encouraging! I moved to Uni 2 hours away from my boyfriend 11 days ago, I have been with him officially for 3 months, but we’ve been *together* since January. He is finding it really difficult not having me there because he relies on me emotionally a huge amount because his parents aren’t very loving and all his friends have also gone off to uni. Last night we had a huge argument because I was getting overwhelmed with him constantly messaging me, he messages me from 8am-11pm all day and we just talk about rubbish, I tried lightly mentioning it to him that maybe we should not talk so much and arrange certain times to talk, like before his work, his lunch hour and after work but he flipped out and got really upset that I was breaking up with him, despite my reassurances that I love him. I want to stay with him, and we have plans for him to come stay every two weeks, but he’s putting too much pressure on me emotionally and I am finding it hard to concentrate on my uni work when he is messaging me needing reassurance that I still want to be with him every 5 mins, what can I do to help him see I want to be with him and make this relationship work for the next 3 years?

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  • Lily

    September 30, 2015

    Me and my boyfriend have been together a year and a half and are both going to the same uni next year (by coincidence), he wants to live together but I want to live in halls on my own. We are going travelling together in our gap year, and I don’t know why I want to live on my own, it just scares me thinking of living with him, and I’m only 18 so I kind of want to have some time to just be me and be independent, but he thinks that if we live apart we will break up, and that I’m putting uni before our relationship which I kind of am… I’m just getting worried about it and feel like we will break up when we go to uni, I feel really mean because I love him now I just feel that in the future he’s not the one for me? But I’m not sure, it makes me sad to think of breaking up with him! What do I do

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  • Sofia

    November 4, 2015

    Hi, my boyfriend and I have been together since February 2015, and I’m in my final year of sixth form. He’s in the year below though, in Lower Sixth, so he’ll have another year, and then he wants to take a gap year, too, so that would put us two years out :/
    We had some trouble with our relationship initially, but as a result of overcoming them it’s really strong now, but I’m not sure what to do… I could either go straight to uni up in Leeds/Durham and he stays in Worcester for U6, my second year is abroad in Japan, and he’ll visit me during his gap year, then he goes to uni, though he’s not sure where, probably London, and has a three year course, so I finish a year before him… But I wanted to stay near to him, so I’m thinking of deferring a year, taking a year off to travel and earn money, going to SOAS in London, which if he goes to london is half an hour from him, and then we can rent together in his first year and his final year? And every year we’ll have the opportunity to decide if we’re still happy in the relationship. But I just mentioned it to my mum, and she started crying and said that I was throwing away my future and being stupid and now I’m really confused and stuck. It’s not like any decision is being made right now, it’s just an application, so I can choose what to do closer to the time. But I wonder if that plan is really so unreasonable?

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  • February 3, 2016

    Hi, i really loved this post and it gives me a lot of hope. Just wondering if you could give me a bit more advice. I’m just finishing my A levels this year and have been in my relationship for about 9 months. I’m his first girlfriend. He’s off to uni next year but i’m probably going to end up taking a gap year. We go to the same school and see each other pretty much everyday. I honestly think i’m really going to struggle next year and i have a hard time trusting my boyfriend because he often looks at other women and he’s told me he thinks about having sex with other women which makes me super uncomfortable. It makes me think he will cheat on me at uni cause he’ll be so overwhelmed with the chance to go wild. I know i sound super crazy and paranoid but i do love him so much and i know he loves me like crazy but i just don’t know how i will cope next year and whether or not to break it off before so i don’t hold him back or risk getting cheated on.

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      • February 7, 2016

        Thanks so much for the advice. He gets upset when I talk to him about it and says he feels horrible and doesn’t do it anymore. I suppose only time will tell. Thanks again. X

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  • Bella

    February 7, 2016

    Hi,thanks for this post it really has given me hope. But I would just like to tell you my sitution and an opinion on it please. I have been with my boyfriend for over a year now and we do both truly love eachother, we both will be going uni this septemeber and I dont know which to choose. Either nottingham where he will go or bath where I always thought id end up. I have visited both unis and researched them both and my thought of either one is pretty equal and so I was thinking if it is then why not go where my bf is going and have a bonus. I dont know if its just my heart saying that though, and people say remove him out of the picture and see which uni you prefer but I just cant seem to do that, also we are a strong couple but I dont know whatl happen if we’re 3 hrs apart with no car. Finally I feel like i would be making many sacrafices all the time for us but I dont know if he definately would. Thanks for hearing me out.

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  • Martha

    February 13, 2016

    Lovely story and a real help as i have been struggling for months now. Thank you, I hope you can help. My boyfriend and I are 2 hours away from each other and I am finding it so so difficult! I know I am going to see him again, usually every 2 weeks but i cant bare the though of leaving him again whenever I see him. It’s killing me, I try and fill my time but no matter how busy I am all i can think about is wanting to be with him. I’m really not enjoying myself and constantly upset counting down the time until its over 🙁

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  • Theresa

    March 5, 2016

    Hi Lucy! 🙂

    Thank you so much for this amazing post, it’s nice to see something positive about the uni-home boyfriend situation as every other website seems to have such negative views about it! Me and my boyfriend both fell in love with Newcastle uni when we visited it but he’ll be going a year before me. He keeps reassuring me that it’ll be fine and we both want to stay together but sometimes I feel a tiny bit anxious that maybe he’ll find someone better when he gets there. Do you please have any advice on how to deal with jealous/ anxious thoughts during the process?

    Thank you so much,

    Theresa xx

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  • Jessica

    September 7, 2016

    I love the positivity of this post! I have an issue 🙁 I’ve been with my boyfriend for a year and a half and we are so in love and we’re at our happy point together, and are together 24/7, I’ve always wanted to go uni and chose one that’s 2 and a half hours away by train. he was so happy for me but he started crying and hugging me saying he feels like he’s loosing his best friend 🙁 I feel so bad and I’m so worried in case university ends our relationship! I wouldn’t be able to visit him every weekend because of expensives, I’m now thinking about doing a gap year to try and get a car but I’m worried incase I don’t go back!

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  • Megan

    September 7, 2016

    Hello Lucy I just a wanted to say that i’m so glad that I stumbled across your blog and I just wanted to say thank you because you have really helped me to feel a little more positive about my situation. I’m 17 years old and my boyfriend Is 18 and has only recently just started going out clubbing and going to the pub with ‘his boys’ to enjoy the last couple of days he has living here at home, I understand that he is trying to make time for everyone before he goes away to university and I guess I have to start getting used to him not being there when i need him or want him to be and obviously partying and clubbing is going to be a huge thing when he goes to uni he was telling me today that he has booked his freshers ticket which is nice for him, but you know how it it i guess i will always feel a little left out whenever he goes out without me and i see pictures of him and his new friends.. anyway I just wanted to tell you my situation and was wondering if you had any advice or anything which can help me put my mind at ease I would be very grateful. We have discussed the whole uni thing a few times before in which case we both got really upset and have ended up in tears most of the time, we have both decided that we are going to give it a go and he says to me all the time that we are going to make it work and that we will be fine, I really want things to stay the way they are I love him with all of my heart we have been together for a year and 9 months (nearly 10) and he is my first real boyfriend and he says that i am the first real girlfriend he has ever had and properly loved. He told me that he got upset and spoke to his dad about the whole situation i don’t know what was said but he told me he started crying because he is so worried about moving away and things changing. It’s getting nearer and nearer to the day that he leaves and I just need some reassurance and some honest opinions on what i should do or feel? he leaves next weekend and I’m so so worried I don’t know how i’m going to be without him there annoying me. I trust him with my life and know he would never do anything to hurt me the only thing i get upset about is him being a friendly guy and wanting to be friends with everyone, I get so jealous and upset when i see or hear any other girls mentioned i think thats normal though i guess i just need to keep it to myself.

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  • Rebecca

    September 18, 2016

    Hi,
    Thank you so much for this blog. I’ve just started university and when I was applying I wanted to be single. However, it didn’t turn out that way, I met an amazing man who I worked with and we got on like a house on fire. Before we got together I told him I was going to uni and he said he would support me no matter what. Both of us really want to make it work and even though we haven’t been together for years and years, we are both are in love. Its been hard reading stories for people breaking up as well as most people at uni being single. When you was at uni did you feel like you missed out of things because you went home to see your boyfriend or when he came to you? Also was it hard not having other people in your situation, like were you around single people? I’m not interested in anyone else and I do see us having a future together, just getting through uni is going to be a massive challenge. I don’t want to miss out on uni life and i’m so happy that a relationship didn’t stop you, I hope I can do the same.

    Rebecca

    reply...
  • Carlie

    September 20, 2016

    Hi Lucy 🙂

    This blog was so lovely to read and gave me a lot of hope with my current relationship and our situation! My boyfriend and I are both 18 and have been together a year now and we’re still going strong. He started university only a few days ago whilst I’m still at home taking a gap year and working. Before he left we were both confident and completely determined that the relationship would still work because we’re so happy together and love each other very much. We knew the distance would not be a problem as he is only an hour and a half away by train. Also, I recently moved away from him a few months ago due to circumstances with my family and moving closer to them so we have been doing the long distance thing for some time now anyway and nothing has changed. However, he’s been so busy with freshers week, meeting new people and partying that he’s barely had any or no time to talk to me and I’m already feeling that he is drifting away and getting too caught up with the whole uni life; it just feels like he is forgetting about me already, which he says he could never do, but my anxious mind thinks otherwise. I give him his space and don’t constantly message or call him because I don’t want to invade and i want him to have fun and enjoy this experience, but because of my anxiety i can’t help but overthink the situation and worry! especially since we used to talk nearly all day, everyday. Am I just being paranoid and worrying too much; is it simply the fact that he just doesn’t have the time right now? I wanted to ask if you were just as busy during your first week of university and did you talk much with your partner? Does it get easier after the first few weeks?

    I really appreciate any advice you can give! 🙂

    Carlie

    reply...
  • Mia

    September 9, 2017

    Hi Lucy,
    I just wanted to say thank you so much for this post. I am 18 and going to uni next September. My boyfriend and I are already long distance, about 4 hours away on a train. I was so nervous about uni without him, and when he said he didn’t want to hold me back from the ‘university experience’ i didn’t really know what he meant, because I don’t want to sleep around or get so drunk with strangers that I can’t get home safe. But my friends have said I’ll miss out on hook ups and all that sort of thing. Your post has just reassured me that it’s ok not to want to get smashed me sleep around, and that’s made me feel so much better. I love my boyfriend so much, I couldn’t lose him. Thank you so much for this, congrats on your 2.1 that’s amazing! And I wish you all good and happy things for the future xxx

    reply...
  • Bella

    January 16, 2018

    Hi Lucy,
    This is a wonderful post and really inspiring. In fact, it’s given me hope for this dark month of January. I’ve been in a relationship for 4 years. My boyfriend and I have both just started uni and are into our second terms. The first term wasn’t easy with expensive train fairs and a distance of around 3hrs between us. But I think there’s hope for us all in long-term, long-distant relationships. It’s not going to be easy but I think it’s true that you have to both want it. I am scared for the future what with study abroad opportunities and a student budget, but who knows! Maybe we will still be together after 3 more years.

    Thank you for the blog, it shows that true love is stronger than a couple of one night stands or short flings x

    reply...
  • Sarah

    February 12, 2018

    My boyfriend of 2 years broke up with me 2.5 weeks before uni because Im moving an hour away. We had plans and talked about how we can make it work but out of no where he said he couldn’t do it even though he was the one reassuring me he doesnt see the problem with me moving away. I was always unsure about studying this course and was more interested in something else which was much closer to home but he told me to just try it out so I accepted the course. He didn’t want me to feel guilty if I had to break us up because of the move but it’s only an hour! Could be much worse. He says he wants to find himself without me but that makes me feel like I’m controlling and I don’t make him happy but I don’t and he tells me I don’t. He says he doesn’t know if he will want to get back together but i never want to move on and will wait. But I’m trying to get a straight answer from him by putting on a fake brave face but I need to know so I can at least try to let go so he realised what he lost.

    reply...
  • Niyah

    September 13, 2018

    Me and my boyfriend have only been together 2 months on Monday, but we was talking for about a year before even dating. Well i am 16 and he is 18 and is moving away to college. It would be a 2 hour drive but he doesnt have his license yet so it will take a lot longer on the train. We have spoke about what we will do but unsure if to try make it work or not. Well we havnt really spoke about the day he moves… he has just told ke today (Thursday Morning) that he is moving on Saturday. 2 days away. I can hardly breath, it hurts so bad. I want him to go because he is clever and can achieve great thing’s… but on the other hand im going to miss him like crazy. What should we do..?

    reply...
  • Niyah

    September 13, 2018

    Moving to Uni*

    reply...
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