It's now been a month since I touched down in the UK after 18 months of travelling. That's nothing in the grand scheme of things, but it feels like a painfully long time since I last saw my Melbourne home, and the people who make it so special to me. I keep having that moment when people ask how it feels to be home, and I think to myself that home feels 3,000 miles away right now. That's the hard part of being a traveler, leaving such big pieces of your heart all over the world that when you do finally come home it can feel a bit empty. That's why so many struggle to deal with the comedown from travelling. I've had it much better than most – I've come back and walked straight into a great freelance job that works with my schedule, and I've instantly started planning trips away with family and friends, knowing my plan is to travel long-term again from September. It makes it much easier to know my situation is temporary, because after a year and a half of utter freedom, the thought of being tied down to one place gives me chills. It's been quite easy for me to slip into the life that I'm living now - after working flat out in Melbourne, I finally have time to relax and catch up with friends. I have time to recuperate from the effects of long-term travel and I can still earn a good wage while I do it.
But as you guys will know, I've always been a bit of a workaholic, so it's difficult for me to adjust to this lifestyle after pushing myself 110% in all of my previous jobs. Especially being back in the UK, I've noticed this incredible pressure since I arrived home and I'm not sure whether it's coming from my own mind or society. My whole attitude to life was much healthier when I was travelling – I was relaxed and focused on having an incredible travelling experience rather than how much money I could earn or how many extra hours I could work. My priority was earning enough to live comfortably as a backpacker, so it never became more important than living my life. Before I went travelling, work took over my life in an unhealthy way and it was this that really pushed me to focus on something else that made me happy - travel. Since travelling, my bank account has been both the fullest and the emptiest it has ever been. But even when I was broke, I always found a way to make ends meet and to survive, even then I was happier than the times I was sitting on a stack of savings. So when I had learnt to live happily on so little, why do I find myself feeling this constant need to achieve since being home?I don't know whether it is just in my own mind, or whether this is a common feeling for travelers returning to the UK, but I constantly have this feeling that I haven't done enough. That I haven't worked enough hours, that I haven't sent enough emails, that I haven't got enough views on this blog, and that I haven't seen enough places in the world. I find myself plagued with worries that time is running out and I just don't have enough left to achieve everything that I want to do in life, that the success I have isn't quite enough. It's such a strange feeling, but one I remember from before I went away. While travelling it was pushed out of my mind by the happiness of living life in the present, by the success of achieving everything I did on a daily basis. So why have these feelings all come rushing back now I'm in the UK? It's easy to forget that everyone has insecurities, and it can be hard to identify our own. I never realised before I went away that I am my own worst enemy when it comes to enjoying success. Instead of relishing and enjoying the moment, I constantly push on to achieve the next thing, to push the next boundary. I love that about myself because it has driven me to make some huge changes in my life that led me to travel the world solo, and to leave a life that made me miserable. But at the same time, it can leave me feeling like what I do will never be enough.
While I was travelling, I focused on nothing more than living in the moment. I focused on the beautiful sunsets, the laughter at work, the nights we won't remember – I lived every second and everything else came after. I never stressed about work or money, just knew I would always figure it out. I didn't think about blogging, just enjoyed the natural progression of reminiscing about my experiences and writing them on the page at my own pace. Put simply, life came first. But since being back, I find mentally that I'm struggling to keep it this way. I've managed so far, but can always feel the pressure and stresses of thinking about money, stats and figures. It's true the UK is very financially driven when it comes to success, and I can only think this is mirrored in the way we view our own successes. I've only noticed this because I have been away from it and had to reintegrate myself, but how many others are left to feel this way without an escape? It's just so easy to get sucked into worrying about money and how successful you are when there are constant reminders of how much we are failing. Every time I look at a magazine or newspaper, listen to the radio or watch TV, there is a stark reminder that there is so much I haven't yet achieved, so much that I'm behind on.I shouldn't feel this way, in the last few months I have had countless successes that I need to learn to just celebrate. I worked as a sales manager and built my own team, ended up as the highest paid manager in my last job. I was a finalist in the travel section of the UK Blog Awards two years in a row. I have made it onto a list of the top 15 travel bloggers of 2016, and I'm even being featured by other bloggers I love as one to check out. I have another huge success tucked up my sleeve, but that one will have to remain a secret for now. All this, and yet I still feel that craving for more, it's soul destroying at times, endlessly frustrating. I just don't understand why I feel it so prominently when I'm in the UK compared to Australia, or Asia, does the distance really chip away at these feelings so much? Perhaps it's just something I'm better able to control when I travel, because it just becomes so much less of a priority for me, instead I use this drive to achieve great things in real life as well as on the screen. I guess when I'm in the UK, I use my laptop as a means for escape, by working on this little world I have created at www.absolutelylucy.com I can be transported to the worlds I have left behind. Work has always been the one escape for me when I don't want to deal with my feelings, so perhaps it's just my way of coping with coming home.
Speaking to some of my fellow travelers on the Girl vs Globe Facebook group, I found I wasn't the only one who has suffered from these feelings. Ro Lee, who blogs at The Travel Captain, said: "Having lived in both NY and Dubai, you're bombarded with constant reminders of how "important" financial success is. But as I've approached my mid thirties, I realize that true success is a measure of the strength of your relationship with others. Helping others succeed is equally important or "lonely at the top" is a saying which holds very true." While Yoanna Guerra-Cuevas, who vlogs here, added: "After doing some travel around Europe and living in Spain for a few months, my whole mindset has changed. In Spain they have a saying "no pasa nada". It basically means everything will be okay. I learned to stop worrying about expectations to succeed and just worry about being happy." Amrine Obermueller, who blogs at Dancing Around The World, said: "I think that if you're feeling the pressures then sooner or later you just have to realize what is right for your life and try not to live it based on how everyone else tells you to. It took me about 10 years to figure that out...but here I am, so happy that I finally know how I want to live my life." Great advice ladies, time I took a leaf out of your book and stopped stressing. Every time I start to feel like this, I'll think back to that traveler mindset and ask myself What Would Traveler Lucy Do? (WWTLD)
Have you felt the pressures of home closing in after returning from travelling? Do you find it hard not to slip into old ways? How does your traveler mindset differ from your home mindset?
I like to live my life with no regrets, and I'm happy to say that up to this point in my life, I genuinely don't regret a single thing. Everything that has happened up to now had led me to this point, and I'm pretty happy with my lot in life. I've got a great job, amazing friends and family, a pretty special boyfriend and big plans for the future. I may have struggled along the way to getting to this point, and I may have had some tough times - but that makes me value what I have more than ever and I can't help but be grateful for that. Throughout my life I have always strived to be the best version of myself as much as possible, whether that means going out of my way to help people or working hard for my degree or job. I have to admit, putting my all into everything does mean I've turned into a bit of a perfectionist and my high standards have meant that I've been left disappointed by others over the years. But I've learnt to accept that I have no control over the actions of others, that I can only focus on my own actions because they are the only thing that is within my control. Trust me, that's not an easy thing for any perfectionist to deal with - I'm sure there are those who know and are nodding at the screen right now.
Regret is a funny word. It can be meaningless to a person, or it can be everything. With phrases like "carpe diem" and "live for the moment" tattooed on peoples' extremities, plastered across inspirational images posted on Instagram and engrained on our brains - it's no surprise that everyone says they live a life of no regrets. A conversation with a friend really got me thinking about this, whether I would do anything differently or whether I am actually really happy with the way things have turned out. I've always been very much of the viewpoint that things, to a extent, happen for a reason. I think if we don't feel a certain drive to act in a certain way, we can't really regret it, we can only learn from it. We can always wonder if things would have turned out differently, even though we know we can't change things. I guess my regrets come more in the form of things I would love to tell my younger self, glimpses into the future I would have liked to have shared and to have known at the time. You've got to admit if you could go back in time and warn about a nasty boyfriend or a bad haircut, you would definitely do it...
So what would I say to my younger self?
Advice to Lucy, age 5-10
Advice to Lucy, age 10-16
Advice to Lucy, age 16 to 18
Advice to Lucy, aged 18-21
Advice to Lucy, aged 22-present
After a request from a fellow blogger, I'm turning this post into a blogging tag! My first one, and I'm hoping you'll all enjoy writing this post as much as I have. I want to all to share the advice and things you would say to your former self - then nominate five bloggers to do the same. My nominations are:
Charlie Holly Jasmine Aftab Antoinette
What advice would you give to your younger self?
PS. Don't forget to vote for me in the UK Blog Awards travel and lifestyle categories!! Click here and here to cast your votes xx
As you read this, I'm packing and getting ready to go to the airport for a wedding in Ireland with the boyfriend's family. I'm so unbelievably excited about this wedding, there has been one every autumn for the last few years, but this is the last one for a while and it's a very special one. This wedding is taking us to a tiny island in the centre of Waterford, where the wedding will take place in a castle! I visited the castle last September and it was just beautiful, like something out of a fairytale, and covered in trailing red flowers. Looking at it, I half expected Rapunzel to lean out of the turrets and pour down her golden hair. We're actually staying on the island in lodges as well so we won't have far to stumble back to bed after the wedding, but in true Irish style, the celebrations will continue for three days of partying, drinking, eating and being very merry. So, this post is all about celebrating the 10 things I love the most about Ireland, and what has kept me going back every autumn for the last few years.
Everyone I have met in Ireland has been friendly, welcoming and has gone out of their way to make you feel at home. I wouldn't want to generalise but if you walk down the street in England, you will be met with more frowns and grumpy faces than you can cope with, but in Ireland, everyone has always been happy to see me and chat. Everyone I have ever met on my visits has been warm and kind, plus quick to help if you are lots of need a recommendation. Plus, THAT accent gets me every time.
Ireland is a beautiful country with everything to offer, inland there are rolling hills and lush green fields full of cows and sheep. On the coast there are stunning beaches, cute seaside towns and choppy waves. So many towns look like time forgot them and they still hold that quaint appeal in the tiny churches and hole-in-the-wall pubs with warm fires and great music.THE FOOD
You guys know by now, I love my food and anywhere that can promise me a good meal is going high up in my estimations. Well Ireland certainly delivers, and particularly at last year's wedding where we had some amazing freshly caught seafood in the coastal town where we were staying, and had the gorgeous prime Irish beef as the main wedding meal. Yum. Looking forward to seeing what food we'll get this time!
Every single time we go to an Irish wedding it is a pretty legendary night - the last one saw us partying with the bride to an epic soundtrack she had picked herself and downing beers until the sun came up - the bride and groom actually carried on and yet still beat us to breakfast! Another one we went to was pretty manic and ended up with me locked out of the hotel room and having to bunk in with some cousins! These events always involve a lot of booze, dancing and fun so I'm sure I'll have some tales to tell after this one! THE FAMILY
I really love getting to spend time with the boyfriend's extended family - my family, although big, are spread across the globe and we don't often see each other. When we do, we are not particularly close, so it is lovely to spend time with a family who make such an effort to get together and to celebrate even the tiniest occasions. It is a lovely thing to be a part of and they do make me a big part of it. At this wedding, a member of the family will be travelling from South Africa to ordain the ceremony, and there are lots of others travelling from America.
As you guys know, I've been working constantly for a long time now and have been saving hard for backpacking in a few months, I haven't really had a proper break because all my holiday time has been spent at festivals which are just as crazy! So this will be a nice relaxing break as well, a chance to regroup and get away from work for a bit. I have long needed a break - that's for sure! Ireland is the perfect place for a break because although you feel a million miles away from home, it is super convenient to get to.THE ACTIVITIES
Every time I've visited Ireland, we've had no end of fun things to do, see and try. Previously we've had big family meals, gone walking around the coast, watched family take part in a 10k run, taken the kids to the funfair, visited a monastery and family graves, and even gone to the races! This time, there is a big golfing game to join in and, obviously the wedding, but we also have a huge family do the day after at a well-known pub, which will give us lots of time to spend together. There's so much to do!
Have you been to Ireland? What did you think of the country and what has made it a special place for you?