[GIFTED items featured] There's no denying 2018 was a rough year for my wellbeing and happiness. I threw myself in at the deep end and gave 150% for months on end, completely forgetting to look after myself. It's not surprising after such an emotional roller-coaster that I crawled into 2019 feeling more than a little burnt out. In a society that seems to pride itself on how busy, how dedicated and how motivated it is, it can be easy to feel like you're under-performing, or like you just need to try a bit harder. But honestly, I'm so over this idea that we need to be constantly doing and achieving in order to be our best selves.
We all want to be the best version of ourselves, but when we're always trying to be great at everything, we often feel like we're falling short at every hurdle. That's why I'm declaring 2019 as the year for focusing on wellness, self-care and happiness. It seems the team at Whittard agree and they've sent me this lovely [GIFTED] wellbeing hamper filled with all sorts of goodies to help me start looking after myself. From special teas to help you sleep and tasty snacks, to gorgeous peppermint soap and even a mindfulness colouring book to help de-clutter my mind. It's made me slow down and take a breath to think about what is really important to me – what will make me happy this year.
We've all got dreams, but sometimes life gets in the way and you're forced to push them aside. Well I think it's time we stop waiting for tomorrow and we get focused on those crazy goals! Always wanted to start a new career, learn a language, move abroad, write a book, travel, buy a new car, go self-employed? Who says 2019 can't be the year you make this come true? The longer you wait, the harder it becomes to make this become a reality.
I saw this great line the other day about how there are countless people out there who are less qualified than you to do what you want to do, and yet they've done it through positive thinking and confidence. There's a lot of power in having a great mindset and just trying. Taking that first step is the hardest part, and you have nothing to lose by giving it a shot. If you don't you'll spend your life wondering what could have happened. Every goal is attainable if you make a plan, take one step at a time, and work hard.
This is such an important one and I know I'm not alone in needing to put certain friendships and relationships in the past. 2018 was a year when i was exposed to some toxic people. I'm glad to have said goodbye to a few friendships that were bringing nothing but negativity into my life, and I don't feel bad for cutting them out. After all, your vibe attracts your tribe. So if someone is bringing bad vibes into my life, it's only going to attract more negativity, and that's something I'm leaving in 2018.
Most importantly, we do not exist to fix other people's problems. We do not exist to heal others. we are all responsible for ourselves. If someone has their own issues that are impacting our happiness and wellbeing, then I'm afraid it's time to say goodbye to that person. If they're not making effort or pulling their weight as a friend, there's no shame in holding your hands up and saying that someone is simply not good for you anymore.
For those feeling a little run-down or overworked and exhaustion has become your middle name. What has really helped me is changing my priorities. For me, a big issue was my long commute and working hours which left me no time for anything else. I hated the wasted time traveling, so I filled it with books and podcasts to make the most of every second. It's so easy to learn with so much information at our fingertips, so why not use travel time or your evenings to boost your brain power?
It gives you such a confidence boost to know you're learning a new skill or language, or you're listening to podcasts on major issues. Since leaving Hamburg, I've rediscovered my love of books, art, music, podcasts, documentaries – I'm using every second to learn and grow. It's amazing the effect reading books and listening to podcasts has on your mental health compared to scrolling through social media. Use your "wasted time" wisely and you can make a huge difference to your well-being.
This one is so important. There's a whole world out there waiting to question and criticize you, so why do it to yourself? It's so easy to forget about that inner monologue you have with yourself, but it's one of the most powerful voices you'll ever hear. If all you do is judge yourself, of course you're going to feel crappy! I'm a strong believer that you need to be your own cheerleader.
I always say you should speak to yourself how your best friend does. Always be supportive, always been a cheerleader and celebrate even the smallest successes. Importantly, just like your true bestie would always do, don't be afraid to straight talk yourself, to put yourself back in your place when you need it. Just watch how your mindset changes when you start turning every negative into a positive.
For some people self-care is long hot baths, candles and a good book. It's taking time for yourself and allowing yourself to relax. For others, it's facing up to home truths, cutting toxic people out of your life and allowing yourself to feel pain so you can move on. Whether your self-care is face masks or starting a difficult healing process, find the one that works for your wellbeing. Find a new set of values and take control of your life.
My self-care process has been allowing myself to take a time out from writing and social media to heal. It has meant investing in myself and my true passions, working towards new goals and dreams. Most importantly, it has meant cutting out all negativity and toxicity. By taking these steps – not all of them easy ones – I'm setting myself up for a year of healing and getting back to happiness.
Staying fit and healthy is always a good goal to have, but so many people do it for aesthetic reasons. Instead of trying to lose weight, why not shift the focus to boosting your mental health and wellbeing? I love to workout but I do it mostly for my mind. I love the rush of endorphins, group classes put smile on my face and yoga is great for soothing my soul.
There are so many different ways to workout and stay fit – make 2019 the year you find the one that suits you. Don't just go to the gym if you're bored of it, why not sign up for classes for the social side, or head out on beach walks with the dog for some fresh air? Why not workout with your bestie and combine catch-ups with a session? There's so much more to fitness than fitting in those Lululemon leggings.
For the goodies from the lovely wellness hamper:
How are you improving your wellbeing this year? What are you doing to invest in yourself?