Something a bit juicier today for my second collaboration with Durex, it seems only right that I write about something that happens to all of us backpackers at one point or another during our travels. Much like eating a bug in Bangkok or missing a flight is a rite of passage, so is waking up in the night to find someone is banging in the bunkbed next to you. Some find it gross, some find it hilarious, but let’s face it, it does make for some funny stories over a beer with your friends. Let’s face it, backpackers have limited places they can go for a little privacy in dorms of ten and they have to find ways to at least pretend they’re hiding what they’re up to – cue the towel hung up around the bed, the muffled whispers and giggles. That’s why we always wear flip flops in the showers guys, we know what goes on in them! But no matter how people try and hide it, we have all had the moment when we’ve walked in on someone or even had to walk out to save ourselves from the embarrassment as a newfound couple forgets who else is in the room. After talking with friends I’ve met travelling, it seems that everyone has their hilarious, cheeky or downright gory stories. So I think it’s about time we shared some gems:
I was at Gilligan’s hostel in Cairns with two friends and one night, two Dutch girls came back late each bringing with them a guy and started to get it on. We were all on top bunks, and couples were at it on two of the bottom bunks which started swaying. We could hear everything, including the wet slappy sex sounds. My friend made enough noise in disgust that the couple below her moved to the shower where we could just hear a loud thumping as the girl kept hitting up against the door. The couple below me continued so loudly I had to switch bunks, luckily our friend had spare ear plugs. When we got up at 8am, the shower couple were done, but the other couple were still/again going at it. They had put a towel up as a curtain, but we just kept getting flashes of the couple in all their doggy-style glory.
One of my friends was hooking up with this guy she had met in the hostel – the only problem was that his bunk bed was right below mine. I’d wake up at all hours to hear them making out really loudly and rocking the bed – I’d always shout at them but it took a lot to stop these guys! In the end I had no choice but to ride the waves and wait it out with my headphones in.
I’ll always remember the time I was in Byron Bay. I was on the bottom bunk and half asleep when in the early hours the guy staying above me stumbles into the room with two girls. I realise, after hearing them giggling and their insanely loud whispering, that they plan to have a threesome in the top bunk. Inside I’m screaming “Noooooooooo!” In reality, they are climbing up the shaky bunkbed and I’ve got my earphones in trying to drown them out but I just keeping hearing these ridiculously loud whispers and giggles which go on forever.
I’m getting so annoyed that finally I get up at 6am because all hopes of sleep are long gone. I’m so annoyed at the guy but actually end up being mates with him, and one night his friend makes a comment about him not being good with the ladies. So I retaliate with “he seems to do alright” pointedly about the other night, and he spills the beans. It turns out these two girls had been lurking outside after their original threesome guy had done a runner, my bunkmate had jokingly offered his bed and when they took him up on it he ended up freaking out – he got too excited and then passed out! I felt bad for him then!
I remember when I was in Sydney there was a video doing the rounds at my hostel of this girl who seemed to be making her way through every guy in the place. Let’s just say one of the guys she hooked up with sneaked into the showers where she was spreadeagled across the floor at it and filmed it under the door. A bit mean, but pretty funny!
I had a friend who hooked up with this guy in Cuba and while they were at it they knocked a plate and cup over. When she stood up to leave, she sliced her foot open and it was pouring blood, grabbing all of the white towels she limped all the way back to our room. She was still wearing her clubbing clothes from the night before and was clutching bloody towels to her foot as she passed all the tourists, families and elderly couples along the way – ultimate walk of shame! When she got back to the room we all thought she was about to die because there was so much blood – talk about memorable!
I had a friend in Colombia who met this guy, but they decided they didn’t want to head back to the hostel. Instead, they got a taxi driver to take them to a hotel, which turned out to be a pay-by-the-hour in pesos motel. When they went to their room, the motel turned out to have themed rooms and mirrored ceilings, with no sheets on the bed – classy! It didn’t stop them from having a good time though!
I’ll always remember my one really wild night when I was staying in Darwin – we’d been out all night at a rave and then partying at the hostel. It was nearly 8am and most people had drifted off to bed but I ended up meeting this French girl who wasn’t even staying at the hostel, she seemed pretty keen so we thought we’d go for a swim. One thing led to another and we started to hook up in the pool, then one of the staff shouted at us to get out of the pool and for her to leave – we ran off and I lost her. It turns out she had disappeared off to another room where she woke up the entire room by shagging another guy as loudly as possible. She eventually came out of the room then tried to drag me off to the laundry room for round three!
If you liked this post – you should check out this one from Durex about the best spooky castle hotels to get hot under the collar in. And if you’ve got any other great stories to share – why not leave a comment below!