Finding your summer style is such an important part of your travels. From making sure you're comfortable and prepared for every situation, to feeling beautiful and confident with that holiday glow. How we look plays a big part in how we feel, and don't we all want to feel great when we're on holiday? Whether you're planning a summer trip to the south of Spain, or you're going long-haul to a Thai beach – here are my top tips on finding the summer style for you.
Shop for the holiday you have planned. If you're travelling somewhere hot, think cool, loose fabrics with lots of movement, or try linen if you fancy more structured outfits. For active holidays, choose stretchy workout gear for hikes and climbs. Or for those cooler locations, why not pick up some warmer, insulated coats or ski gear? Plan carefully and it can have a big impact on how much you enjoy your holiday.
I've always been a bright and colourful girl. Much like my love of the tropics, my wardrobe is all the colours of the rainbow. If you're going somewhere sunny and plan to get a tan, go for colours that will compliment your summer glow. White always shows off a tan well, and bright reds, pinks and turquoise look great against bronzed skin. If you're more of a monochrome fan – look for clean-cut shapes and even white/black patterned clothes to mix it up a bit. Whatever you choose – make sure that it complements your skin tone.
This is my most important point. Not everyone suits body-con dresses or long white linen trousers. Not everyone feels comfortable in tight mini-skirts and some bodies will be swamped by long floaty outfits. The important thing is to dress for your body and wear things that make you feel good. This could be the latest styles, or it could be bringing back vintage 70's. Remember, every body is a bikini body – but find the bikini that flatters and makes you feel confident on the beach. Don't wear anything that makes you feel any less than amazing!
Want to shop less and cut down on fast fashion in your wardrobe? Choose classic styles and you'll build a wardrobe that you'll wear for years to come. Not only will you love pairing items from 10 years ago with the latest quirky accessories, but you'll instantly know what items look good with each other. Creating a capsule wardrobe means wasting less time on stressing over outfit combinations, and more time drinking cocktails when you instantly have a mental rolodex of perfect outfits.
Buying a new wardrobe each summer can create a huge expense when really you want to be spending that money on ice cream and cocktails on the beach. Start shopping a little differently and you could save a pretty penny! Instead of waiting until peak season to buy summer items, shop the sales the summer before to pick up great items at half the cost. This also works well with expensive winter clothes/ski gear – buy it during the sales to save. Shop wholesale fashion stores such as J5 Fashion to cut costs on picking up the latest styles. Or go vintage and hit the second-hand stores to save money and pick up some quirky, unique styles.
What's your summer style? How do you shop for your holidays?
*This mini cruise post is sponsored content.
Have you ever looked at a mini cruise holiday and wondered whether it was for you? For many years I've been eyeing up various cruise options and always questioned whether I would enjoy a trip or now. Plagued with seasickness and ideas of what a cruise was like, it was easy for me to brush the notion aside. But if I'm being really honest with myself, I had this whole idea of what a cruise was like with no real experience to back it up. So I've teamed up with Cruise and Maritime Voyages to share what cruise life is really all about. And for those who still aren't sure whether cruises are really for them – don't worry! I've got a much better option to help you test the waters before committing to a 3 week cruise.
Whether you're running short on time, funds or simply don't want to dive straight into a full cruise, a mini cruise could be the perfect option for you. Save yourself the stresses of going to the airport and dealing with luggage restrictions, cut down on the holiday planning time and keep the kids happy. Choose the holiday you really want, to fit in with your budget and your timescale.
Always wanted to try a cruise but didn't want to commit to weeks on a ship? Booking a mini cruise break for a weekend is the perfect way to dip your toe in the water and see whether you like it! For first-time cruisers, you get the chance to test your sea legs without facing a long stint at sea. Set aside any fears or nerves you may have over a big cruise by taking a practice run on a mini cruise break.
One thing that can put travellers off a full cruise is the cost of travelling all-inclusive for several weeks. But booking a mini cruise break can see prices starting as low as £49pp for a one night cruise. With lots of cheap deals available for cruises across Europe and the UK, it could be a great way to save on accommodation and stick to your budget. Book cheap weekend or mid-week cruises – on average these start at around £100 for 2-4 night cruises. This includes your accommodation, delicious restaurant meals and top-class entertainment, plus a chance to visit some top destinations.
Something that has always worried me about signing up for a longer cruise is seasickness – once you're on the boat it's a little too late to do anything about it. But a mini cruise could be the perfect option for you. The combination of shorter travel time and closer proximity of the different ports means avoiding the biggest sea swells and the roughest of waters. While you may still fall victim to bad weather, generally you stand the best chance of avoiding seasickness. If in doubt, always come prepared with seasickness tablets.
Always fancied exploring the UK, France, the Channel Islands, Belgium, Germany and the Netherlands but wanted to do something a bit different to the average city break? See the cities and countries you've always dreamed of visiting but experience them from the waterways. Choose between a mini cruise that stops off for expert-led shore excursions or simply enjoy the view from the boat. Get a taste of European life and there's no doubt you'll want to go back for more.
Don't spend your pre-holiday time worrying about baggage restrictions and making sure your liquids are under 100mls. Forget lugging around a heavy suitcase or getting stuck in the lines at customs. By choosing a mini cruise, you also give yourself the option of bringing back bottles of wine or foodie items you pick up on your travels. No chance of watching security throw away your precious purchases on the way home.
Booking a European city break can take a lot of organising, especially when you're planning for the whole family. So why not skip the stress of booking flights, hotels and transfers separately? Instead, save your precious time and energy for enjoying a mini cruise where everything is provided. Right down to the evening's dinner and entertainment – leave the big decisions to the staff while you sit back and relax in your home from home.
Whether you're bored of the same old city breaks, or haven't yet had a chance to explore – a mini cruise is a great way to shake things up! Whether it means getting seeing the same places from a new perspective or getting to visit several destinations in one short trip. If you're short on time but want to make the most of a short holiday, this could be a great way to incorporate visits to all of your favourite cities. Why not combine Amsterdam, Antwerp and Rotterdam for a Netherlands' adventure?
Who said cruises are just a summer holiday idea? They can also be a great way to get away when the weather starts getting colder. Many of the locations on offer also host some of the best Christmas markets. You could visit Germany and Amsterdam for the annual festivities. Why not plan a romantic getaway with that special someone? Enjoy all the Glühwein and bratwurst you can eat.
Organising a trip with kids can be a challenge for keeping everyone happy and entertained 24/7. Booking a mini cruise could be the answer to all your problems. From being able to bring along as much luggage as you need. To having onboard restaurants that cater for even the fussiest eaters. While there may be the added cost of bringing kids along. Remember these costs will cover all your meals and accommodation. They could even include creche services and kid's club to keep the little ones entertained while you relax.
If you want to relax in the spa, or plan days off the ship as you explore a new location. It's your choice. You can keep yourself busy with shows and live entertainment. Enjoy fine dining or take a dip in the pool depending on which cruise you choose. Decide how you want to spend your holiday and your cruise will cater for your every need.
Whether I've persuaded you or not – it's yet another unique way to travel and a great way to have a relaxing trip on a budget. It's definitely something I'll be considering for future trips, particularly for a European adventure.
Click to book mini cruises for a short break.
Have you been on a mini cruise? Would you like to experience one in future?
*Thanks for Jade of Raising the Rings for snapping the pics of moi
I talk a lot about the best ways to save money, but it's so important to build up your own money saving plan – and the younger you start, the better! Through travel I've learned a lot about managing and maximising my finances. Now I want to share what I've learned with you guys! I'm definitely not a financial advisor, I'm just sharing what has worked well for me. Before trying any of these tips, do your own research and make choices that work best for you. I'm writing this as a 29-year-old. So I have the benefit of hindsight and a lot more knowledge than I ever had when I was 25. I hope this post will help you be one step ahead during your twenties.
Since travelling, I've been the richest and poorest I've ever been. I've also become really good at saving money and cutting corners where possible. I'd much rather spend on experiences and save for something special than blow my money on nights out. We all have different priorities but whatever you put first in life is where you will see your money disappear. The question is – what will you have to show for it afterwards?
Straight out of university and hopefully into your first job – I started work as a journalist but was on a really basic and crappy pay. Despite this, I was living at home with my parents for a while and while paying rent, I was also able to have some financial independence and was able to save money for the things I really wanted. After living in debt for years at university, it was nice to finally have some breathing room and freedom. It was the time to start managing my own money and naturally that means blowing some money at first and treating yourself.
But once the charm of the nights out and new clothes wore off, I started to realise how empty it felt to waste money like this. It occurred to me that I didn't want to stay in this job forever, and I also didn't want to live at home forever. Now was the perfect time to really save – for what? I wasn't sure yet... But it wasn't long until I realised how much I had always wanted to travel and bingo, I already had a good chunk of savings set aside for that rainy day! If like me, you know that you don't want to stay in the same job, the same house or live the same life forever. Today is the day to start saving money and get on top of your finances for when you're ready to make a change.
The most important thing is to get a handle on your spending and really understand your essential expenses vs. unnecessary expenses. You need to make sure you prioritise your bills before you're treating yourself and this includes rent, food, utility bills, council tax and phone/broadband. We'd all love to have a plush apartment to ourselves filled with the latest gadgets and gorgeous furniture, but living within your means is an important skill to learn. Create a spreadsheet of your monthly incomings and outgoings and log everything – including those sneaky coffees on your way to work.
Another great way to do this is to sign up for a bank like N26, Monzo or Starling Bank – they have apps which track your spending and where your money is going. Once you've been tracking your outgoings for a month or two and you will start to get a good idea of your disposable income. If you're finding it's much less than you would like – considering looking at your living arrangements to see if you could save there. Sharing a flat is a great way to make friends, especially if you’ve moved to a new city for work or study and it helps to keep expenses down by sharing costs. Disposable income is a key factor, so it’s important to get a good handle on your expenses to create a money saving plan.
This is one that I wish I had started working on earlier, it can have a huge impact on your life. Ironically you need to acquire "debt" to pay it off in order to get a good credit rating. A good credit rating is important for mortgages/buying a house and for taking out large loans. This doesn’t mean you should go and max out a credit card on extravagant purchases. Instead, why not get a credit card to make some affordable payments, before paying it off in the agreed period.
For example, you could use a credit card to pay your regular food bills and then pay it off when you get paid. Over a few months, you will build up a sound credit history by spending money you were already going to spend. Certain credit cards have extra perks, such as cash back or reward schemes. Using comparison sites could help you find the best credit card for you needs. If you have a mobile phone on contract, this can also count towards your credit rating, if you don't, it's a great way to boost your rating.
Look after the pennies and the pounds look after themselves. Well I prefer to look after the pennies, the pounds and any stray Euros that sneak in. Looking at your pensions and savings is really important, it's building a future for yourself. One of the most important decisions when creating a money plan is how much of your income to save. The more you can save and the sooner you can start, the better for your future.
The BBC have reported you should start a pension by the age of 25 to have the best chance of saving enough for retirement. Often if you are employed by a company, they will offer some kind of pension plan. Whether you understand it or not, it's worth ticking a box to pay into one. Its a tiny portion of your pay-check but sometimes your company will match it. You won't even notice it has gone, but you'll definitely notice when you retire so add it to your money saving plan today.
Other saving options could include ISAs, where you can save up to £20k per year tax free. I've had an ISA since I was around 18 and have always set aside the majority of my savings in it. However, you should also look carefully at your bank accounts. I was definitely guilty of having stayed with the same bank for years and never looked at my interest rate. Then I discovered it was pitiful and realised that by switching to a new bank, I could get a welcome bonus of £150 and a much higher interest rate. It's worth shopping around for better accounts and changing every few years to get the most out of your bank. The market is designed for new customers.
It's not the most exciting topic in the world but insurance and being properly prepared is so important. Just like you wouldn't go away without good travel insurance for emergency medical treatment or car crash cover. Make sure you have a comprehensive home insurance against theft and damage. Ensure that it will also protect you in case of a flood or fire – which could otherwise be devastating. You need third party insurance on your car, but make sure you have an insurance that meets all your needs. Also - regularly check up and price compare to see if you could be getting a better deal. If you find a better price elsewhere, you can ask your current insurer to match it.
Life insurance is also worth thinking about in your money saving plan, especially if you live a high-risk lifestyle. It’s designed to pay out a lump sum of money to your next of kin if you were to die. It can give you piece of mind that your loved ones are provided for when you’re not around. You can find great deals on comparison sites like Moneyexpert. I haven't yet looked into this, but it's definitely going on my to-do list after some close calls in car accidents while travelling. While it wouldn't ease the pain of losing someone, it would make sure they were provided for in a time of need.
When you've put these tips into play, it's important to remember to enjoy yourself as well. These budgeting tips will help you to put money aside for big purchases such as holidays or a new car. Plan and instead of risking a bad credit rating, you'll be able to use your savings to pay! It will give you such a sense of achievement to pay outright. Before travelling the first time, I worked five jobs, and you know what, it was worth every second. When I was finally travelling, I felt so proud of myself for making it a reality!
You can also look into reward schemes from credit cards. This could help you build up your credit rating if you use your card to purchase and pay off the balance. Plus you could score free flights or purchases! Design a money saving plan that works around your lifestyle and gives you the benefits you want.
The biggest advice here – don't be intimidated or feel like you don't know enough about finance to make your own choices. I know how it feels. We haven't been educated when it comes to growing up in a world ruled by finances. Particularly as women, the financial world can feel alien. None of the schemes, companies or advertising are aimed at us. It's hard to understand a world when you can't see yourself in it. But it's important to talk about finance, to talk about money, wages and the future. Only by talking about it will we learn and we will grow, expanding both our knowledge and our finances.
Check out SavvyWoman for great tips on money and finances.
How will you start creating your money saving plan?
*This travel minis post is a collaboration with Cosmetify
Whether you travel once a year, or once a week, it seems the bane of all our lives is trying to fit our luggage into the smallest space possible. Particularly if you're travelling hand luggage only, or trying to comply with the under 100mls rule. It's no easy task to maintain your beauty routine when you travel. But as someone who regularly flits between check-in luggage and hand luggage on trips. I've become very creative with ways of streamlining my skincare and haircare routine to make the most of my packing space. After all – don't we all just want to keep things as simple and easy as possible when we travel?
As someone who travels a lot, it's important to me to maintain a beauty and skincare routine. The changing climates, air conditioning, late nights and flights can take their toll on your skin and hair and quickly make them look dull and lifeless. We all want to arrive at our destination feeling glam and ready for our holiday, being prepared with our body's favourite products is a great way to do that. Even if you're travelling within the country or heading to a festival this summer, shopping for mini-versions of your favourite products can be a great way to save space. If you ask me, it's a great way to make space for more outfits, books and perhaps a few extra ciders for at the festival.
I've teamed up with Cosmetify, a beauty discovery website with over 160,000 products from thousands of brands. Perfect for beauty lovers – the website stocks everything from makeup and hair products, to grooming, skincare, electricals and toiletries. If you're planning a long-haul summer getaway or even a weekend city break in Europe, Cosmetify is the perfect place to pick up all your travel beauty minis. Whether you're jetting off to Paris, Bali or Mexico, make sure you're fully stocked with your favourite brands before jetting off. As important as a good sun screen is for your holiday so are your beauty essentials, especially travel minis.
Skincare is so important and maintaining a good routine can mean the difference between perfect glowing skin, and holiday breakouts. The changing temperatures can leave your skin prone to dry patches which is never ideal when you're looking to top up your tan. I always make sure that I have the most hydrating products I can find – between the sun and travel, my skin and hair crave moisture. I also make sure I aways travel with a great cleanser and exfoliating scrub that will help stop my pores from getting clogged up with sunscreen and sweat if I'm travelling somewhere hot. There's no better feeling than giving your face a good cleanse and your body a good scrub after a day of sunbathing, and then moisturising your skin.
When you've managed to save on space thanks to packing your travel minis, why not use that space to throw a few treats in your bag? Some of my favourite holiday products to pack include cooling eye masks and foot sprays. These are ideal after a day out in the sun and walking around a new city. Pop them in the fridge to make them extra soothing on your skin. My favourites for a long flight or travel day include a moisturising facial mist and tissue mask. These are a fantastic way to arrive feeling fresh, plus it's lovely to have a mini-pamper on the plane. And finally, a good foot scrub or pumice stone to get your tootsies ready for those summer sandals.
One topic that is always on my mind is the environment and how to live a more sustainable life. There are more vegan, cruelty-free and sustainable products available in the beauty industry than ever before. But it is down to us to make the right choices when it comes to choosing our favourite brands. There are lots of simple ways you can make environmentally-friendly choices for your holiday beauty routine.
A huge thank you to my lovely friend, Kirsty of Kirsty Leanne blog, for shooting these pics for me!
What are your favourite holiday beauty products? Which travel minis can't you live without?
As many of you guys will know from my stories, I was lucky enough to go on a fab press trip with Ryanair and Bergerac Airport a few weeks ago to Garorock Festival in France. After the UK summer arriving a little late, I was in bliss when we touched down to a heatwave in France. I had such an amazing time and I'm so excited to share it with you.
Get ready for the full festival experience, along with a little inspo for those who have always wanted to festival abroad. I've been to many festivals abroad over the years, but Garorock Festival was my first French festival and it's one I'll always remember. Now, if we're heading to a festival together, you better make sure you've got your glitter, your bum bag at the ready... Oh and if you're a shorty like me, you'll need some strapping young lad to pop you on his shoulders so you get the best view of the stages!
Garorock Festival is so much more than just the music. It's an experience, one that welcomes you with open arms back to a family you never knew you had. With the winged horse as it's symbol this year, there was magic in the air from the beginning. And now that's it's over and the tents are packed away, it's certainly a festival we won't forget. The organisers had thought of every detail from DJs in the camping area, street theatre and games. There were plenty of bars, toilets and showers to keep even the fussiest festival-goers happy. Even a food court with a huge range of foods to suit all palates, and a huge seating area for family-style feeds.
Throughout the four-day weekend, over 145,000 people attended the event. But despite the numbers Garorock Festival maintained a really intimate vibe. It never felt too crowded or too intense by the stages, everyone was really friendly and you kept seeing the same familiar faces. Even better, the festival had one of the most chilled out crowds I have ever experienced at a festival so it's perfect for first-time festival-goers, those who don't like crowds and families. It may have been running for over 20 years, but the festival has maintained that cosy back-yard feel while absolutely smashing it with incredible line-ups. Garorock is a fantastic festival but seems to have stayed under the radar when it comes to UK festival-goers. So if you want a chance to beat the crowds and experience a true French festival – now is the time to go! It costs just €50 for a day ticket and €170 for a full weekend pass – you can buy tickets here.
One thing I really loved about the festival was that it was entirely cashless. Each festival-goer was provided with a wristband that they could pre-load using the app. These could be topped-up at the festival with money for drinks and food. It was so efficient and had a huge impact on how smoothly the festival ran. Particularly when it came to the bars. I never waited more than a couple of minutes at any bar throughout the whole festival. We all know how annoying it can be to feel like all you do is queue, whether it's for drinks, food or the toilet. It's a huge waste of time when you really want to be at the stages enjoying the acts. I loved that Garorock had sound a way to streamline the festival experience and make it as enjoyable as possible.
Originally Garorock Festival started out over 20 years ago as a rock festival in a field in Marmande. Over the years it has grown into a hugely diverse line-up featuring a mix of local and international acts. While rock is clearly still an integral part of the festival with acts like Blood Red Shoes, Interpol and Sum 41 on this year's line-up. It has become a really inclusive festival with a range of acts to suit all tastes. Throughout the weekend we also caught performances by James Blake and Ben Harper. Plus the incredible Christine and the Queens the night before she smashed Glastonbury. De La Soul had the crowd dancing, while DJ Snake had the crowd in the palm of his hand.
One of my favourite performances of the festival had to be Sum 41. After growing up with them as a teenager it was epic to see them perform live on stage. The whole crowd was singing along to every single word and it was that night when I said goodbye to my voice for the next week. This was closely followed by Christine and the Queens and her incredible dancing troupe who absolutely blew us away with their performance. DJ Snake was fantastic as a headliner, but it was Macklemore who really took the festival to the next level. It's been a long time since I saw a performance as spectacular as theirs. From the excellent showmanship, to all our favourite songs. It was a perfect way to end a fantastic weekend.
Getting to Garorock Festival couldn't be easier thanks to Ryanair who fly directly to Bergerac, the closest airport to the festival. It's one of 28 French airports connected by the airline, and is easily reached from London Stansted, Bristol, East Midlands, Liverpool and Brussels Charleroi in Belgium throughout the summer. During the winter, the service cuts down to 3x weekly flights direct to London Stansted which makes it easily accessible all year round whether you're visiting for a festival, for the vineyards, the amazing food or landscape. Flights start from as low as €19.99 – so what are you waiting for?
We flew over from London Stansted and it couldn't have been an easier or quicker journey, just 1 hour in the air and we touched down in 35 degree heat. On arrival, we were met by our transfer – we travelled by mini-bus but you could easily hire a car for collection at Bergerac Airport. The journey took around 45 minutes to our accommodation and saw us driving through endless rolling countryside and vineyards.
We stayed at a huge self-catering cottage called Les Gîtes de Sarah, with two swimming pools on site and an in a beautiful location. If you plan on attending the festival or exploring the area, I recommend hiring a car. If you're planning your summer travels and want to stick to your budget. There are 142 Ryanair routes from London Stansted including six new routes to Kiev, Lviv, Nantes, Kalamata, Rodez and Vigo.
My first every festival abroad was Hideout Festival in Croatia, and honestly, I've never looked back. While UK festivals will always be my first love, there's something epic about experiencing a festival in another country. Garorock Festival was a fantastic example of that. We met people who had been going to the festival for years, some were local, others had travelled from across France and beyond.
Around the festival, we had the chance to stay in the beautiful countryside around Marmande in a stunning Gîte. A festival abroad is so much more than just a festival. It's a chance to travel and explore. An amazing way to meet like-minded people and to share a moment of magic with them.
Have you been to a festival abroad – which ones would you recommend?
*This travel sickness post is collaborative post with various brands
There's nothing worse than being struck down with travel sickness after you've spent all year counting down to cocktails by the pool. It's happened to all of us, and when you travel a lot, sadly it's all the more likely if you become tired and run-down. Whether it's Delhi belly, Bali belly, or even just a cold from the air conditioning on the plane – it can make or break a trip within hours. Nobody wants to be feeling ill in bed, or chained to the toilet, when they could be on the beach eating ice cream.
But the truth is, if you spend all year gearing up for your trip and then totally cut loose on holiday, your body is sure to feel the effects quickly. Going from one extreme to another can have a knock-on effect which makes you more vulnerable to getting sick when you're exposed to new germs. It's something nobody wants to think about, but by planning ahead and being a bit more aware, you could save yourself a lot of misery. I want to stress that I am in no way a medical professional, this guide is created from the experiences of a seasoned traveller. If you become sick while on holiday, you should always get medical advice from a trained professional.
Motion sickness is a demon – only affecting some unlucky travelers, it can have a huge impact on how much you are able to enjoy your trip. From cars, to planes, to boats, there are so many ways for it to affect your holiday. While some may just feel a bit nauseous or dizzy, for others it can cause violent sickness and even anxiety at the thought of travelling.
Affecting travelers in a variety of different ways – there are also a number of ways to ease the symptoms when you travel. For those who suffer mildly, you may find it helps to stare at a fixed point on the horizon, or even listening to music. A natural remedy is to try ginger tablets or eating raw ginger. Others may find sucking boiled sweets or "travel sweets" helps to settle their stomach. For those who suffer with more extreme cases, buy travel sickness medication to take 30 minutes before you travel. From someone who has tried this medications over the years, always buy non-drowsy because drowsiness can increase the feelings of motion sickness.
Too much time in the sun can leave you feeling sick and feverish, dizzy with headaches and cramps. It's no fun when a day of sunbathing or exploring a new place leaves you with a touch of heat exhaustion, or even sunburn. It's important to remember – especially if you're from the UK – your body isn't used to being in the heat and may react differently to how you like. Take care of yourself and drink lots of water.
Avoid getting sick at all by staying smart in the sun – wear sunscreen, drink lots of water and don't lay in the sun all day. Spend a few hours in the shade – especially at the hottest point of the day (usually around 11am to 3pm. Listen to your body. If you've been caught out in the sun, take a cool shower and spread aloe vera or after sun on your skin to help soothe it. Drink lots of water and try putting your legs up to let the blood flow and stop dizziness. Lay in a dark, cool room to recover. If you don't feel better within 30 minutes or lose consciousness, seek medical advice.
The one no-one ever wants to talk about and yet the most likely one to affect your travels! Traveller's diarrhoea can be caused by a number of factors – but the most common is Enterotoxigenic E. coli. This can be caused by contaminated food, a virus such as norovirus, or even a parasite. These are mostly caused by poor standards of public hygiene and can commonly affect travellers particularly when travelling places like Asia. Everyone's heard of Bali belly, well it's very easy to get and no fun when you're surgically attached to the toilet.
The best thing to do is avoid getting it altogether – but how do you do that? There are lots of simple precautions you can take:
If you're looking for something that will help reduce the risk of getting traveller's diarrhoea –Travelan could be exactly what you're looking for. Particularly on your first visit to a high-risk environment, if your body is less used to travel or foreign cuisine, it's a great way to prepare your system for new germs. Travelan reduces the risk of occasional diarrhea and helps to target issues before they begin.
If you're travelling to somewhere like Bali or India, where sanitation levels are uncertain, this is a good way to look after your body. Why wait until you get sick? By taking a caplet of Travelan before each meal, the antibodies it contains will bind to any bacteria in the food rendering them powerless in their attempts to infect your bowels. Keeping your digestive health in peak condition from the beginning of your holiday, could mean avoiding an early ending to your trip.
Everyone knows the common cold – it's no-one's friend and least of all when it pops up in the middle of summer! But if you're anything like me, you always pick up germs on planes. It doesn't seem to matter how much I travel, every long-haul flight sees me boarding healthy and feeling like I've got the flu by the time I arrive. It's something about the air conditioning sending the same germs around the same confined space. Feeling that same headache, watery eyes and sneezing, stuffed up nose is the worst, especially if you've just arrived on holiday.
Sadly there aren't too many ways to avoid a cold, other than these two key things to remember:
This could be anything from spraining your ankle to a motorcycle accident. When you've been planning the trip of a lifetime, you don't want to be stuck recovering in your hotel room in your travel slippers when you could be our having adventures! There isn't much you can do to prepare, other than be careful and try to stay safe. For basic first aid, it's always good to know how to clean and dress any cuts and scrapes. If you're prone to hurting yourself, it's worth carrying antiseptic spray in some areas such as Asia to avoid getting any infections. All other first aid items and wound dressings are available at the nearest pharmacy or health clinic.
Always make sure any cuts, scrapes and wounds are cleaned carefully with alcohol or antiseptic. If these become infected and start to show pus, you should seek medical assistance. For larger wounds, head to the nearest doctor or hospital for assistance – you may need advice on whether to cover, or let wounds breathe.
The best way to prevent illness is to focus on staying healthy when you travel and strengthening your body before you travel. These tips can help you fight off illness before it even has a chance to strike!
What are your top tips for staying healthy and avoiding travel sickness?
Planning a first-time visit to a new city can be tricky, but lucky for you guys – I've done the research and found 30 awesome things to do in Prague! One of my favourite European cities, I was so excited to finally get to visit and see this beautiful place with my own eyes. From those famous bridges to the gorgeous winding streets between the busy squares. A visit to Prague is like stepping back in time to a fairy tale city of red-tiled roofs and those green copper towers to a time of princes and princesses. But it's more than just storybook inspiration – Prague is also a seriously cool city with some epic things to do when you visit. Check out my list for ideas of things to do in Prague on your first, second or even third visit!
The city's most popular attraction – Prague Castle is breathtaking and a perfect place to spend the afternoon exploring. Tours are available and your ticket will also include access to visit other famous buildings including the cathedral, basilica and Golden Lane.
It wouldn't be a visit to Prague without a stroll along Charles Bridge and best of all, it's free! A great way to get a feel for the city, enjoy river views and endless entertainment. This 14th century bridge is one of the most famous landmarks of the city, so naturally expect it to be busy!
Found upon entry to the castle grounds, St Vitus Cathedral is magnificent and overwhelms the courtyard in which it stands. Amazingly the building only dates back to 1929 and the art nouveau style, but feels like it could be hundreds of years old.
Head to Old Town Square on the hour to see this mechanical masterpiece strike. Prague's Astronomical Clock is the pride of the city and sits on the wall of the town hall. More than just a ticking clock, onlookers should prepare a show on the hour.
This lively heart of the city is overlooked by Prague Town Hall and welcomes crowds of visitors every day. Surrounded by bars and restaurants, it's also the perfect place to find street performers from singers and musicians, to comedians and even magicians.
Bathe in the finest Czech beer at the original beer spa – Pivní Lázně Spa Beerland – one of many beer bath experiences across the city. Relax in 1,000 litre oak hot tubs filled with beer while drinking as much beer as you want and eating homemade beer bread. Read about the ultimate beer-lovers experience in this blog post.
It turns out the traditional Czech chimney cake isn't actually a traditional dessert for Prague! But that won't stop the masses of tourists for whom it was invented for. If you have a sweet tooth, this one is for you. Enjoy a trdelník – a long strip of dough cooked into a spiral shape, then filled with cream, chocolate, nutella and even ice-cream!
Get creative and add to the graffiti-covered John Lennon Wall, a monument to peace and love hailing from the dark times of communism. Look a bit deeper to find images of John Lennon and his lyrics among the graffiti. Add your own message, but keep it meaningful and respectful to what is already there.
If you walk away from the city centre on the south riverbank of Charles Bridge and keep following the water, you'll find a Captain Morgan's pirate ship. Docked at the riverbank, it's actually a bar and a great place to spend the night, head downstairs to hit the dancefloor!
Nestled between the Old Town and the Vltava River, you can still find surviving parts of the former Jewish Ghetto dating back to the 13th century. Known as Josefov, you can still find six synagogues and various historical buildings in the area.
Find out what's been pulling the strings on Prague's love affair with the marionette all these years as you walk the streets of the city. Check out the amazing puppet shops and pick out one to take home, or why not go to a puppet show at the National Marionette Theatre and see them in action?
This adorable little street in the castle grounds is actually a key part of the city's history. It was here that novelist Franz Kafka lived for a few years. But it was the fabled alchemists of yore that gave the street its name, with legends claiming this was where they sought to turn materials into gold.
There are so many delicious things to try while in the city. From meat-heavy dishes including duck, stews with beef and lamb, pork cooked in beer, to the lighter pickled vegetable and pickled cheese dishes. Head down the side streets to get away from the touristy restaurants.
A sculpture that has been mistaken for a suicide attempt more than once. This dangling tribute is one to watch out for when wandering the Stare Mesto area. The psycho-analyst appears in seven-foot form hanging precariously from a metal beam above the cobbled streets.
Interested in learning about the Soviet Union and what life was like in Prague during Communist times? This museum was set up by a Russian enthusiast and features spy cameras and interrogation equipment. There's also a photography exhibit with images captured by a KGB officer in 1968 in the streets of Prague.
Prague is famous for that river view, so why not take to the water to get a unique view of the city? Taking a riverboat cruise along the Vltava is a great way to see many of the city's most famous sights while escaping the busy streets. You could even book in for a lunch or dinner cruise to make it extra special. If you love being on the water, you could even combine your trip to Prague with a European river cruise and explore the Czech city as part of a bigger trip.
How better to test the Czech claim that their beer (pivo) is the best in the world, than by tasting it yourself? Join a beer museum tour, visit the local breweries or just head to a nearby bar to try the famous Czech lagers such as Budvar and Staropramen.
Popular with stag and hen weekends, it's easy to see why! Prague is a great place to party the weekend away, with everything from underground bars, to rooftop cocktails and fine dining, to live music, nightclubs and of course, the red light district.
From the sex machines museum to the museum of medieval torture instruments – there's some strange places to visit when you come to Prague. Find over 200 kinky devices dating back hundreds of years, plus silent film to keep you entertained at the Sex Machines Museum. You can even visit the Museum of Communism, and the KGB Museum for a peek into a dark time in history.
Combine amazing panoramic views of the city with a cocktail at one of the most architecturally interesting buildings in the city. The building is considered nouveau baroque architecture and gives the illusion of a couple dancing, so naturally, it's called the Dancing House. A perfect place for a drink overlooking Prague Castle.
A theatrical performance of visual tricks, changing between light and dark, modern dance and costumes all combine to give you an experience you won't forget.
The highly alcoholic spirit associated with bohemian culture is the perfect drink to try while in the city. Head to Franz Kafka Square where you'll find the Absintherie which have lots of different flavours, plus absinthe beer, coffee and ice cream!
Head to the grounds of Museum Kampa for some quirky artwork that sits somewhere between crazy cool and a bit creepy. Giant crawling babies with barcodes across their faces will tower over visitors. Along the riverside, you may even spot some bright yellow penguins glowing in the dark at night.
The home of Franz Kafka, Prague has scattered tributes to the bohemian novelist across the city. This includes a giant rotating sculpture of his head outside City Hall! You can even visit his house up at Prague Castle. Or find out more about him, his works and his life at the Kafka Museum.
If you want to experience the magic of Christmas in Prague, you should book in for the Christmas Markets. Spend a weekend going from stall to stall. Eat delicious festive foods. Stand among the twinkling lights and falling snow to get in the Christmas spirit.
Prague's own Eiffel Tower. The Petrin Tower offers 360° views across the city from one of the city's most famous landmarks. It's free to get up the 299 steps with a Prague City Card.
Just south of the city centre, 10th century Vysehrad Castle stands up on the hill on the opposite riverbank to Prague Castle. With free entry, it's a great place to go for viewing platforms with amazing scenic views. For views of Prague Castle, find a spot overlooking the river on the west side of the grassy park. Check this article for more details of where to go.
Hundreds of believers visit the Roman Catholic statue of Jesus Christ as an infant every day in the heart of Prague. Visiting to pray and make wishes, this 16th century shrine has become something of an attraction in the Mala Strana.
Not one for the veggies or vegans among us! Pork knuckle is a really popular dish in the Czech Republic. Koleno is a very meaty dish featuring pork knee marinated in beer, served with pickled vegetables and bread.
Charles Bridge is a famous enough attraction already. But add street performers, magicians, musicians and singers and you've practically got a party on the bridge! While packed with tourists, it's a great place to get a view across the city. Just watch for pick-pockets.
To book accommodation for your stay in Prague – check out these hotels.
Have you been to Prague? What was your favourite part?
Something very different for you all today, but hotly requested after I posted some pics on Twitter of these delicious vegan dips I created for a summer mezze platter. I'm not normally one for sharing recipes but I do love to cook and get creative in the kitchen, particularly since I switched to a mostly plant-based diet. I love colourful foods and it's amazing how much more creative you get when you take meat and dairy out of the equation. Now these dips might be vegan, but they're certainly not limited to vegans! Everyone loves getting snacks out for guests when they come round in the summer, so whether this is for a picnic or a dinner party, chips and dip, or veggies and dip is always a great shout.
These three dips are super easy to make and it's easy to whip up bigger portions if you have a lot of guests coming over. Plus they freeze well if you want to make sure you always have a stock, just in case. They also make great packed lunches for work if you fancy something healthy. Just pair with fresh salad and falafel for a vegan option, or you could add quiche for a vegetarian option. After coming up with the idea for these in the supermarket car park, I came straight home and made them mostly out of ingredients I already had around the house. All you need is a blender and a little creativity to create the perfect mezze platter!
Because hummus is life. Let's be serious, does anyone actually not like hummus? If so, this one isn't for you. I'm obsessed, but always prefer to make my own ever since I attended this Middle Eastern cookery school and learned how to make it. If you ask me, it's impossible to have a mezze platter without hummus.
Ingredients:
Instructions:
NOTE: You can add tahini (sesame paste) as many recipes do ask for it, I didn't have any at home and didn't miss the flavour of it so work with whatever you have available.
The colour of this dip is insane and it looks amazing when paired with the others, plus a bright veggie mezze platter. After some time in the fridge to settle, it looks a bit like a raspberry sorbet and tastes fantastic. The tangy flavour works well with falafel for summer flavours, and would also be great in a sandwich or with cous cous.
Ingredients:
Instructions:
Now for my favourite dip of the collection and the one that inspired me to make the full mezze platter. This one is fresh, light and a perfect accompaniment to the tangy beetroot dip, and the spicy hummus. Together, they complement each other well and mean everyone is catered for.
Ingredients:
Instructions:
Perfect for sunny summer days in the garden – whip up a quick mezze platter and a jug of Pimms and invite all your friends round for the afternoon. I'm amazed at how many requests I had for the recipes to these dips – so now you can all make them at home. Make sure you tag me in your pics and let me know what you think!
What are your favourite foods for summer mezze platters? What are your favourite vegan recipes?
Every traveler knows the classic journey from novel, Around the World in Eighty Days, but modern times have helped speed up this journey. Now this epic journey would involve 70 train journeys taking place over 31 days, and a new guide has been created to chart the journey. Recreating the magic of the journey from the classic Jules Verne novel, travelling by either car, train, boat or plane.
Using realistic courses across the globe, now travelers can compare the distance, time and even transport taken by the inspirational character, Phileas Fogg. Almost 150 years after the book was first published, now adventurers can recreate the route taken by the character to relive his story.
Starting and finishing in London, the amazing guide has every detail including the mileage, stops and time it would take for each stretch of the journey. The extensive planner even offers options for any deviation from the original travel method. Created by Betway, the research has shown the fastest way to recreate the famous route is by plane which would take just 3.3 days – or 80 hours – to cover the 27,788 miles from London. But this version of the route would also mean changing the original route due to stopovers. As well as an additional three trains in order to finish the journey.
Sailors could cover the 28,413 miles in 72 days by boat. This beats Phileas' time but is still a lot slower than travelling by train and car. Sailing would take 41 more days than travelling by train, and 48 days more than driving. If you're looking to stay traditional and stick closely to the original route. Choosing car or boat is your best option as it will only require an alternative three times in the whole journey. But choosing to travel by train could mean deviating from the route 21 times due to restricted rail line development in the Middle East.
While Phileas’ original route covered an impressive 40,765 miles, the maximum distance travellers will need to cover today is 31,925 miles by car. This distance is closely followed by boat with 28,413 miles, train with 35,547 and finally plane with 27,788. Find full details below in this great infographic:
Powered by Betway
Milan was never a place I had thought of visiting, but I'm so glad I found cheap flights for my birthday because I can't imagine having spent it anywhere else. A city of culture, art and food. It's the perfect place to spend a girly weekend with your friends, or a romantic weekend with your loved one. With all of the authentic Italian charm and quaint backstreets. Plus the modern and fashionable style that sets it apart from other cities. It's sure to win your heart.
From the moment I flew in over Bergamo Airport and spotted the red tiled roofs, I knew I was in for a treat. And the rest of the weekend definitely didn't disappoint. I had a fabulous three days and nights in the city, which was a perfect amount of time to explore. I'm so excited to share this amazing place with you all now. I hope this post inspires you to take a Milan city break and explore the city on your next trip.
Where you stay could have a big impact on the focus of your trip, so choose wisely. We stayed in the Brera neighbourhood which is one of the more popular areas and a perfect location for first-time visitors to the city. It's walking distance, or a short metro ride away, from the main train station which is perfect for those who have arrived by train or airport transfer. It's also a great area for restaurants, bars, arts and shopping so you'll find plenty to do right on your doorstep.
We stayed in the lovely Brera Charming Loft which was a great little find. Right in the middle of the city centre and walking distance from the centre of Brera, art galleries and the Duomo. The maisonette-style loft had a real authentic feel. It was set back from the road in a gorgeous little courtyard with a terrace overlooking it. Inside, it slept four comfortably and even came with a kitchen. It was one of the cheapest places I found across the city, which still had a level of luxury and the independence of staying in an apartment instead of a hotel.
One important thing to stress is that there are two airports in Milan. So when booking your flights, be sure to fly in and out of the same airport to avoid any stress. I flew in and out of Bergamo which was perfect as the flight times were much better from London Stansted. On arrival at Bergamo Airport, all you have to do is walk outside to where the buses are, and there will be transfer buses waiting. They charge €7 return for the 40 minute journey into the centre of the city. Dropping off at the side of the central train station. If you do get a return ticket, you will need to travel back to the airport with the same bus company. This worked fine for me and the buses go from the same point as they drop off.
The gothic cathedral in the centre of Milan is by far its most famous landmark. It's certainly hard to miss even with the huge crowds that collect outside it daily. Milano Duomo is incredibly beautiful and apparently, it took a whopping five centuries to complete! However the masses of tourists do take the shine off just a little. I highly recommend going early in the morning if you wish to escape the crowds and enjoy a bit of peace. Luckily when we arrived there it was seconds before a huge thunderstorm. So as everyone else was racing away from the building, we headed straight up to the roof and had the whole place to ourselves!
The rooftop terrace is by far the highlight, visitors can walk over pretty much the entire roof enjoying panoramic views across the city. You can also walk around the crypt, visit the treasure. You can even go under the Duomo to find the Basilica di Santa Tecla and the ruins of a Christian baptistery from the fourth century. There are a range of tickets available starting from €3.50-7.50 for the inside of the cathedral and museums. Or to head to the rooftop, tickets range €12.50-16.50 for adults, children are half price and those under 6 go free.
Nearby, you can also visit Leonardo da Vinci’s mural "The Last Supper" which is housed in the Santa Maria delle Grazie convent – be sure to book in advance for this one as it was fully booked during our visit.
Whether you have the money or not, this one is worth a visit. The high-end luxury shopping arcade is a stunning and ornate building dating back to the 1800's. The mall now features designer clothing brands and upscale dining. All housed in a glass-covered 19th century arcade. It gets super busy, so be sure to get there early to beat the crowds. If you can spare the cash, it's a great place to stop for a coffee and brioche while you watch the world go by.
Brera's spectacular art gallery, which is believed to be one of the best art collections in the whole of Italy, was by far my favourite part of the weekend. While I'm not an art expert by a long shot, there's something special about being surrounded by incredible Romantic paintings dating back centuries. The building itself is spectacular, and when you go inside, you'll see incredibly detailed paintings detailing the stories from the bible, famous faces from the past and even some abstract work including a real Pablo Picasso. Highly recommend a visit. Entrance €12 per person, with a reduced rate for locals and children, pick up tickets here.
During the three days/nights of my Milan city break, we mostly stayed around the Brera and city centre areas. If you're looking for great places to eat and drink out. I highly recommend Brera which has lots of gorgeous winding streets filled with amazing restaurants and bars. Eating and drinking out will be your biggest expense while in the city. But if you're smart about it, things don't have to be as costly as you might expect. If you're travelling on a budget, look for happy hour deals and remember you often get aperitivo treats along with your drinks. Also, remember that often it's much cheaper to get a pizza to split than to get several snack dishes.
Other great areas include Navigli which I'm really sad I didn't get time to visit. It's supposed to be full of aperitivo bars, vintage shops and more art galleries. Porta Ticinese is also supposed to be lovely and more laid-back as the student district full of chilled bars and cafes, plus more vintage shops. And finally, for the fashionistas among us, Corso Como is the place to be seen and also the location of many big clubs. If you want more information about different neighbourhoods in Milan, check out this great website for full details.
The beautiful thing about visiting Milan is that it is so close to so many other amazing places. It is super easy to organise a day trip to another location. Whether you fancy a day out at Lake Como, or an overnight stay in Venice or Zurich. It's easy to quickly, and cheaply organise trips. While there are many expensive organised trips you can book. It is also really easy to go independently and save a lot of money. During our visit to Milan, we took a day trip to Lake Como and found it really easy to organise on the spot with just a 40 minute train ride.
If you have a bit longer than a weekend and fancy extending your Milan city break into a longer holiday. You could easily go and spend a few days in Venice or Zurich either side of your trip. The beauty of Europe is that everything is so close. The train/bus travel is fantastic value and extremely good service. If you're interested in Lake Como, watch out for an upcoming blog post on planning a day trip there from Milan. Or, if you would like to plan a Europe road trip – check out this post for route ideas.
If you don't fancy Milan, my next choices for this trip were Barcelona and Rome. Both had cheap flights available from London. There are so many amazing places to choose from within Europe. But Italy will always have a piece of my heart. Why not travel Rome with Voyage Privé and find city break offers at up to 70% off for the full Italian experience. As long as there's gelato and pizza, I'm there!
Have you been to Milan – what did you think of the city? What's your favourite Italian food?
Over the years, I've loved coming up with epic birthday present ideas that leave behind the more predictable physical gifts in exchange for experiences and amazing memories. Ever since I've started spending so much time travelling, I've started to really value the time spent with others, and the memories we create, so much more than a house full of things. After all, when we're old and grey, we won't remember the scented bath products, but we'll never forget the thrill of something new.
I've just come back from celebrating my birthday with a lovely girls' weekend in Milan and Lake Como – it was an absolute dream! But before anyone complains that might be too expensive, there are so many ways to travel or have amazing experiences for your birthday on a budget. Whether it means visiting a friend, couch-surfing, staying in a hostel or going super simple and low cost – there's always a way to do it. You don't even have to leave home to celebrate, why not have a party with all your fellow adventurers and look into photo booth hire?
*This is a collaborative post
A birthday can be a perfect time to take that much talked about trip with your bestie – it could be a spa weekend, a day out in a new city or even a weekend away. Pop over to Milan like I did for a weekend of art galleries, gelato and bubbles, or head to Amsterdam for quirky cool museums, cute little canals and lots of sugary treats. There are endless options and when in Europe, it's easy to find super cheap flights and accommodation. Why not play flight roulette and book a last minute trip to the cheapest place available on Skyscanner?
If you're celebrating a big birthday, it could be the time to splash out on one of these epic birthday present ideas. Instead of presents, you could ask for donations for an experience such as a helicopter tour of the Grand Canyon, swimming with sharks in Australia or even a hot air balloon ride at sunrise. Something you won't forget in a hurry, it could be the perfect way to spend your 30th, 40th or 50th. It doesn't have to require travelling across the globe, your once-in-a-lifetime experience could be driving a race car or even taking flying lessons in the UK.
If you've got someone special in your life, why not use your birthday to celebrate and spend some time together. It can be easy to take each other for granted, so any excuse to enjoy each other's company, is a great one to me. You could go for a lovely meal out, or cook together at home. Fancy getting away? A spa weekend could be a good shout, or try something that indulges their favourite hobby by getting outdoors, going for a wine tasting or even a gallery. And don't forget to order a personalised champagne bottle to up the romance levels and add a personal touch to the celebrations. It makes the perfect gift.
How better to celebrate your birthday than surrounded by the people who made and raised you? Let's be honest, it can be hard to find time to catch up with your family when work and life get in the way. Or if you spend a lot of time far from home, it can be a great time of the year to get the family together to celebrate together. Whether you make a visit home, or your family comes to visit you – why not get the relatives around for food, drinks and a lot of laughs. My favourite family gatherings usually involve a barbecue or a family dinner.
This one is for those craving adventure, excitement and an adrenaline rush to combat any feelings of getting older. Who says getting older has to be boring or slow you down? Not me, if anything I love challenging my body and mind more with every year. Whether you prefer trekking in the rain-forest, white water rafting or even a skydive or bungee jump. There's something to get every pulse racing for an unforgettable day.
Got no-one to travel with? Why not save up your money and go solo with your birthday present ideas? This could be a perfect opportunity to go it alone and have an amazing adventure all of your own. I've loved solo trips to Budapest, Berlin, Slovenia and Italy in the past. I can honestly say my solo trips have been some of my most epic! It's been a fantastic chance to strike out on my own and see an amazing new place. I've never failed to make new friends to celebrate with on my birthday. Despite travelling solo for five years of birthdays, I have never spent a single one lonely.
If it's not an option to splash out. Why not get some fresh air and a change of scenery by treating yourself to a country camping escape? The perfect birthday present ideas are sometimes the simplest. So why not pack up a tent and your best mate and take a little road trip somewhere beautiful. You could go further afield to beautiful areas like the Lake District, Peak District or even the Irish countryside. Or if you don't have the time to travel. Just find a beautiful spot near your home and use it as an opportunity to discover what's right on your doorstep.
If you can't spare the cash on a big blowout. Why not choose birthday present ideas that are filled with love? One of my favourite birthdays was when my hostel surprised me with a picnic and birthday cake in the park. It cost less than $10 each but the fact that they made it a surprise was so thoughtful. It doesn't have to be extravagant to be the best birthday ever. Why not go simple and surround yourself with friends and family? Invite everyone round for dinner and drinks. Or you could have a picnic at the beach or in a nearby park.
How have you spent your birthdays? What do you plan for this year?
*This domestic violence post is a collaboration with multiple organisations and comes with a trigger warning.
For a long time, this was a post that was never going to be shared. One that would be forever banished to the bottom of my drafts and never to see the light of day. It was a topic that was hard enough for me to broach with friends and family, I couldn't bear to say the words domestic violence, or abusive relationship, out loud. I was humiliated and embarrassed to admit what I had been through, and not emotionally ready to confirm that this horrible period in my life was more than just a bad dream.
But then it really hit me. My experience, although heartbreaking and life-altering for me, was not unique. Sadly it's the story for many women – 1 in 3 women worldwide according to the UN – and many men. It is estimated that of all women killed in 2012, almost half were killed by intimate partners or family members. Now safe and far removed from the domestic war zone that nearly broke me, I can admit there were times when I wondered if perhaps my life would end up another statistic.
Most of the time, I buried these thoughts under layers of denial. Let's be honest, domestic violence doesn't happen to girls like me. At least that was what I thought – what we all think – until we're in those circumstances. I never thought I would be in a situation with someone I loved so much, where I felt physically unsafe and mentally unstable in their presence. I never believed another person could claim to love someone and yet be so cruel towards them. But they can, and it can happen to anyone. Which is why it became so important to me to share my experience – no matter how hard. Because if this can help one person who is going through the same, it will be worth it.
It was award-winning organisation, CHAYN that inspired me to share my story, after they launched their brand new, interactive and intersectional mental health guide for survivors of trauma and abuse. CHAYN is a global volunteer network addressing gender-based violence by creating survivor-led resources online. The group started in 2013, and have since reached hundreds of thousands of people across the world. Their goal is helping women who are experiencing abuse to find the right information and support they need to take control of their life.
Most importantly, their resources are driven by the needs of victims and survivors from diverse backgrounds. They provide support without judgement for each stage of women’s journeys. The organisation designs for resilience and empowerment – encouraging women to feel independent so they can take informed actions. They focus on making women feel heard, understood and motivated to live a happy life. While I didn't come across their work until very recently, I think their resources could be invaluable for someone living through the same situation I did. From this point on in this post, I will talk very honestly about my experiences of domestic violence, if you find this triggering at all, please feel free to not read any further.
I want to stress that for a long time, I really felt like I was in a loving relationship. Many people see abusive relationships portrayed on TV as extremely violent and assume it is like that from the beginning, but most don't start that way. It's far more subtle than that, and honestly, it was only with hindsight that I could really see the extent of the manipulation and guilt used against me. It started with his jealous accusations of flirting, and when I tried to end the relationship early on, manipulation through apologies and declarations of love, and talk about our future.
Criticism started small with the odd comment and eventually becoming a nasty, vicious attack on everything I said and did. It was no to everything I said, before I'd even finished saying it. I was wrong about everything, told I was stupid. It gradually broke down my confidence, made me question everything and blame myself. The bullying wasn't even noticeable at first, but later started from the second I opened my eyes in the morning, until I dared close them to sleep again that night. But most importantly, it was never constant – if it had been, no-one would ever put up with it. Instead, the cruel bullying was cleverly inter-weaved with overwhelming affection and love, and, at the worst times, cold indifference.
The sad thing is, that despite how bad the violence was, it was never the worst part. I could easily list the brutal and horrible things that I experienced, but anyone who has gone through the same will know why I'm not. Because there are no end of women out there – who may not consider themselves a domestic violence survivor – but who have seen the light in their partner's eyes disappear as they turn into a cruel, bullying shadow of themselves. The violence is never the worst part.
Physical abuse is easy to identify if it's punching, beating, slapping and kicking. But it can come in so many other forms. It could be restraining you to the point it hurts, spitting at you or locking you in a room. He might be sexually abusive towards you, or even tricking you into injuring yourself, or believing that's what happened. He might throw food or other items at you. It might even be violence that doesn't even hurt but is done to mock and belittle you because you're physically incapable of stopping them.
This is much more complicated and can cover a range of factors:
When you haven't experienced domestic violence, it's easy to ask why people don't just leave. But the truth is, many people try multiple times and often won't actually leave until months or even years later. It's more than just escaping physical violence, it's the emotional blackmail and bullying that makes you feel incapable of getting out. Escaping an abusive relationship is something you should be applauded for, it takes more strength and determination than most can imagine, but often it is just the start of a long journey back to yourself.
I can't tell you how many times I had my bags packed, how many times I went to leave and was dragged back in, both physically and emotionally. Eventually leaving happened after something finally snapped inside me and I decided I couldn't put up with any more.
It's the moment when you realise that no matter how much you love the person, you can't heal them, but they can break you.
No matter how much you want to save them and the relationship, you have to put yourself first or risk losing yourself altogether.
I never told a single member of my family or friends until the day I left. It's easy to say you should talk to someone, but not everyone has someone to talk to – a key trait of these situations is feeling incredibly isolated. Even if you do have someone to talk to, it's not exactly the easiest situation to talk about. No-one will talk until they are ready – in my situation I had tried to speak to a few friends about it but never got farther than saying we'd been arguing a lot. Deep down I think the reason I didn't say anything was because if I said it out loud, it meant the relationship was over and until the day I left, I wasn't ready for that.
In my situation, I was able to get myself out safely, but if you are in any danger, it's important that you tell someone. It could be family or friends, it could even be the police or even a neighbour. After you are out, don't be afraid to lean on family and friends – they want to help, they want to support you. Let them. It's not the easiest thing, but it makes a world of difference to surround yourself with love after being so hurt and isolated for so long.
In the wake of such devastation in your life, it's vital that you give yourself the space, and the time to heal. The effects of abuse can be long-lasting and can some people years to get through. During this time it's important to set boundaries and to focus entirely on yourself, and getting back to normal. Self-care means different things for different people – some may feel emotionally drained and have to force themselves to go through the motions of life for a while. Others may be a mess of emotions as they come to terms with what they have been through. What is important is that you realise your way of dealing with things, is the right way for you. It doesn't matter what other people think you should, or should not, be doing.
Focus on the basics – good nutrition and exercise make a huge difference to lifting that cloud. Talking to people about everything, or nothing, and even retreating from people and taking a break if you need it. Social media can be toxic and triggering at a time like this – so don't be afraid to cut yourself off from it. Surround yourself with love, and make plans for the future. Realise that while this was a low point in your life, it doesn't have to be your life. It’s vital that you remember you’re not the same person who was in that relationship – you found the strength to walk away. Being aware that you’re much stronger now than ever before can really help you to move forward with your life.
Sometimes it's not as simple as just walking away. You can still be at risk and have to get the police involved, or even go to court. One thing I can advise, if you are in a situation like this and unable to leave – document everything. Keeping a diary of what happens, tell a friend so you have a record and a witness, or even let your phone record the violence. It's a horrible thing to have to do, but it can be vital if you have to take things further to the police or require legal support later on.
Another way you can move forward with from an abusive relationship is to make a claim for compensation to help you through this difficult time and move forward with your life. With the help of CICA UK you can find out whether you might be entitled to compensation that could help you rebuild your life after domestic violence.
You are more than your experience. You can choose to be a victim and let your experience define you, or you can take a step back and realise it was never about you. That's a hard pill to swallow, but the truth of the matter is that this person is cruel and emotionally broken, and they just happened to come into your life. Perhaps the situation, or the type of person you are, made you more vulnerable to them, but that doesn't mean you are to blame. This could have happened to anyone, and it does happen, to so many more people than you realise.
But if you are ever to truly move on with your life and be happy again, you have to stop blaming yourself and stop allowing yourself to be a victim. You survived a horrible situation, one that you did not deserve and now it is time to realise that there is life beyond an abusive relationship. This is the type of situation that can very easily affect all your future relationships and life experiences – if you let it. Dealing with what has happened is not easy, but by taking control and facing your emotions, you stand the best chance of truly moving on with your life and having a future you deserve.
If you are in an abusive relationship, or know someone who is experiencing domestic violence, the following support networks and charities might be useful:
